Tag: penguin - Sickipedia

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The 7 dwarfs are all excited as the new pope is visiting fairy story land.
All week they nudge Dopey sniggering "Well you can finally ask your question!", to which Dopey replies every time "Shurrup willya!"
Finally the day arrives and all the dwarfs are lined up with the other characters from the Snow White story, he shakes hands with the evil Queen, then Snow White then slowly makes his way down the line of the dwarfs.
As he approaches Dopey theres a small chant which gets louder and louder "Ask him.ask him...ask him ASK HIM>!"
"Ask me what?" Questions the pope.
The dwarfs shove Dopey forward "ASK HIM!",
"What would you like to know?", says his holiness.
"Well", begins Dopey, "Are any of your nuns black?"
"Hm" ponders the pope "As a religion we catholics don't differentiate between creed so its more than probable that quite a few of our nuns are black . Does that answer your question?"
ASK HIM!! shout the dwarfs.
"Is there more to your question young man?"
"Erm......do any of your nuns work in Antarctica?"
"well young man we have nuns all around the globe so its more than likely that we have a couple in Antarctica. Does that answer your question?"
ASK HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yell the dwarfs!
"Is there more to this question?" asks the pope now getting more than annoyed.
"Erm..................................are any of these black nuns in Antarctica dwarfs?!
"WHAT"! Splutters the pope.
"I'm sure if we had a black dwarf nun in Antarctica i would have heard of it. So in answer to your question NO!"
All the dwarfs collapse on the floor pissing themselves laughing.
"DOPEY SHAGGED A PENGUIN!! DOPEY SHAGGED A PENGUIN!!"

Joke by cornish_breeze, in Jokes with no home > Dwarfs - Tagged pope , dwarfs , snow white , fairy story , dwarf , sick , penguin , nun , nuns - Current Score: 111 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

What's the difference between an Emperor penguin and Gerry McCann?

An Emperor penguin doesn't leave his egg to spend three hours throwing cheap wine down his neck in a local bistro on the pretence he can still see the vague area the egg was left in.

Joke by eatmeat, in Celebrity and news events > Madeleine McCann - Tagged penguin , egg , parent , drink , bistro - Current Score: 56 - Added: 11 months ago

A vacationing penguin is driving through Arizona when he notices that the oil-pressure light is on. He gets out to look and sees oil dripping out of the motor. He drives to the nearest town and stops at the first gas station.
After dropping the car off, the penguin goes for a walk around town. He sees an ice cream shop and, being a penguin in Arizona, decides that something cold would really hit the spot. He gets a big bowl of vanilla ice cream and sits down to eat. Having no hands, he makes a real mess trying to eat with his little flippers.

After finishing his ice cream, he goes back to the gas station and asks the mechanic if he's found the problem. The mechanic looks up and says, "It looks like you blew a seal."
"No, no," the penguin replies, "it's just ice cream."

Joke by McLOVIN, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged road , trip , car , penguin , flipper , frozen , mechanic , fish - Current Score: 53 - Added: 11 months ago

A man drives into a petrol station and the attendant comes out to fill up the car. Looking into the back of the car the attendant sees 2 penguins and he says to the man, "what are they doing there?"
The man replies, "I found the by the side of the road and I don't know what to do with them"
"Why dont you take them to the zoo?" says the attendant. "What a great idea" says the man, pays for his petrol and drives off

The next day the man returns to the petrol station and the attendant comes out again to fill up the car, he looks into the back and sees the penguins are still there, "I thought you were going to take them to the zoo!" he says,

"I did" replied the man, "We had a great time. We're off to the museum now!"

Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged zoo , penguin - Current Score: 28 - Added: 3 months ago

It was a lovely, warm summers day, and a penguin decides to take his sports car out for a drive which has been in storage.
He sets of in the car into the countryside. About an hour into the journey, the car coughed and spluttered and stopped. luckily, it stopped outside a mechanics workshop.
so penguin waddles over and asks the bloke if he can look at the car.
"yeah sure i can, come back in an hour and i should have looked at it by then."
so the penguin waddles in to the local village. as it was such a nice day, the penguin decides to have a ice cream and chooses to have a mr. whippy with a flake.
as you can imagine, penguins don't have fingers, so he was having a terrible time holding the ice cream in his flippers and got covered in vanilla goodness. before he can clean him self he realises that an hour has gone past, so heads back to garage.
"did you manage to look at my car?" asks the penguin.
"yes mate." came the reply
"it looks as though you've blown a seal."
to which the penguin replies,
"no i haven't, i've had an ice cream!"

Joke by jaydee, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged penguin , ice cream , summer , village , mechanic - Current Score: 16 - Added: 2 months ago

ratty got buried to -8. Reveal Joke

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