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| Paddy's just moved into the city and visits his new local pub for the first time. He strides up to the bar and asks for three pints. The landlord hands over the drinks and watches the Irishman sit at a table and one by one drink them all. Nearly every day for a few months the landlord eventually asks Paddy why he doesn't just order a pint at a time, that way it'll still be cold. "Well," Says Paddy, "I've got two brothers and as we can't drink together we always order for three and drink it all on our own." The landlord agrees that this is a nice little tradition and gets to know Paddy over the coming months. One day Paddy comes in with a look of death on his face and orders just two pints. The landlord, feeling inadequate and sad for his friend, gives Paddy his condolences and asks which of his brothers had died. "What'cha talkin about?" Says Paddy, "I've just quit drinking." |    |
Joke by Speshal, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged irish , paddy , brothers , pints - Current Score: 78 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| This blonde asks her milkman if he could leave one hundred pints of milk for her on the following morning. When the milkman asks why she needed one hundred pints, the blonde says, "I was reading in a magazine that bathing in milk helps to soften and reduce wrinkles on the skin, so I'd like to fill my bath up using the hundred pints." So the milkman asks, "Pastuerised?" And the blonde says, "No, just up to my tits will be fine." | |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Tits - Tagged blonde , bath , milk , pastuerise , tits , pints - Current Score: 41 - Added: 5 months, 5 days ago
| My girlfriend stood me up last night. But, having had 15 pints, I just fell down again. | |
Joke by justincider, in Jokes with no home > Drinking Jokes - Tagged girlfriend , stood , pints - Current Score: 18 - Added: 1 month, 23 days ago
| My wife was in a right state last night. It took 8 pints to sort her out. I must have cut her worse than I thought. | |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged state , cut , pints , blood - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 month, 13 days ago
| Never have sex after 10 pints. The reason? Well, just imagine playing pool with a piece of rope. | |
Joke by laba, in Sex and shit > Drunken - Tagged sex , beer , alcohol , pints , rope , pool , snooker - Current Score: 6 - Added: 4 months, 13 days ago
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