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| An elderly English gentleman of 83 arrived in Paris by plane. At the French immigration desk, the man took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry-on bag. "You have been to France before, Monsieur?" the Immigration officer asked, sarcastically. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. "Then you should know well enough to have your passport ready." The English gentleman says, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it." "Impossible. All Englishmen have to show their passports on arrival in France!" The elderly gentleman gave the French Immigration Officer a long hard look. Then he quietly explained; "Well, the last time I was here, I came ashore on Juno Beach on D-Day in June 1944, and I couldn't find any fucking Frenchmen to show it to." |    |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged paris , plane , france , english , passport , bag , immigration , juno beach , 1944 , dday , cheese eating surrender monkeys , french - Current Score: 2192 - Added: 9 months, 6 days ago
| Airlines have banned passengers from taking tweezers on board... Anybody who can hijack a plane using a set of tweezers deserves the fucking plane. | |
Joke by slider1874, in Jokes with no home > Airlines - Tagged terrorist , airline , ed byrne , plane , 911 - Current Score: 1000 - Added: 3 months, 3 days ago
| The plane in Spain falls mainly on the runway. | |
Joke by baldlice, in Celebrity and news events > Spanish Plane Crash - Tagged plane , spain , crash , 186 died on take off - Current Score: 491 - Added: 3 months, 12 days ago
| Did you hear about the terrorist who hijacked a 747 full of Pakis? He threatened to release one every hour if his demands weren't met. | |
Joke by mycockisbiggerthanyours, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged paki , pakistan , pakistani , 747 , plane , terrorist , hostage , hostages , demands - Current Score: 195 - Added: 10 months, 7 days ago
| A man goes to the World Trade Center. He says "I want to buy a jumbo jet" "We don't sell jumbo jets here sir", was the reply. "Well you've got one in the window!" | |
Joke by caliban, in Celebrity and news events > 9/11 - Tagged world , wtc , 911 , trade , centre , world trade centre , america , usa , jumbo , jet , jumbo jet , jets , plane , planes , crash , window , windows - Current Score: 168 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| As an airplane is about to crash, a female passenger frantically jumps up, removes all her clothing and announces, "If I'm going to die, I want to die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone on this plane who is man enough?" A man stands up, removes his shirt and says, "Here, iron this." | |
Joke by eatmeat, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged plane , sex , die - Current Score: 133 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Police today arrested a Thalidomide couple at Heathrow Airport. They were charged under the terrorism act, for trying to take small arms onto a plane. | |
Joke by Rexton, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged thalidomide , police , airport , terrorism , small arms , terrorists , terrorist , small , arms , arrest , arrested , plane , planes , act , couple - Current Score: 132 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| It's strange isn't it ? You stand in the middle of the library and go "Aaaaaaaaargh!!" and everyone stares at you. But do it on a plane and everyone joins in. | |
Joke by BruceWillis, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged library , plane - Current Score: 130 - Added: 6 months, 10 days ago
| A Muslim was seated next to an Australian on a flight from Hong Kong to Sydney, Australia. After the plane was airborne, drink orders were taken. The Aussie asked for a rum and coke, which was brought and placed before him. The flight attendant then asked the Muslim if he would like a drink. He replied in disgust, "I'd rather be savagely raped by a dozen whores and my head stuffed up a sheeps arsehole than let liquor touch my lips." The Aussie handed his drink back to the attendant and said, "I didn't know we had a choice." | |
Joke by Monkeyman, in Religion and racism > Australians - Tagged aussie , muslim , plane , drink , alcohol , sheep , rape , whore - Current Score: 128 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| I see that the Spanish are doing cheap flights to the Canary Islands, but I just can't see them taking off. | |
Joke by JE, in Celebrity and news events > Spanish Plane Crash - Tagged spanish , crash , plane , bad puns - Current Score: 110 - Added: 3 months, 11 days ago
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