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| A man goes to the World Trade Center. He says "I want to buy a jumbo jet" "We don't sell jumbo jets here sir", was the reply. "Well you've got one in the window!" |    |
Joke by caliban, in Celebrity and news events > 9/11 - Tagged world , wtc , 911 , trade , centre , world trade centre , america , usa , jumbo , jet , jumbo jet , jets , plane , planes , crash , window , windows - Current Score: 168 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Once again, we have watched America come together to mourn the tragic events of November the 9th. Any way you look at it, it's a damn tragedy. Either the whole fucking country is too stupid to successfully navigate the opening of a calendar, or it took the ignorant cunts two months to notice they were missing a couple of landmarks... | |
Joke by greasyelvis, in Celebrity and news events > 9/11 - Tagged america , planes , november , 911 , terrorism , 911 - Current Score: 166 - Added: 2 months, 19 days ago
| Police today arrested a Thalidomide couple at Heathrow Airport. They were charged under the terrorism act, for trying to take small arms onto a plane. | |
Joke by Rexton, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged thalidomide , police , airport , terrorism , small arms , terrorists , terrorist , small , arms , arrest , arrested , plane , planes , act , couple - Current Score: 132 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Frank and Morag had decided to take the holiday of a lifetime to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. They were on a flight over the Pacific bound for Australia when a severe storm broke out. Three hundred passengers, sat gripped with fear, as the plane bucketed one way and then the other in fearsome turbulence. Suddenly, over the public system, the captain says, "Ladies and Gentlemen, we have been blown off course and our engines are failing. I see an uncharted island and we should be able to land on the beach. However, I should warn you that it is remote and our radio is out, so the odds are we will never be found." Thanks to the skill of the flight crew, they landed safely. An hour later Frank says to Morag, "Morag, did we ever pay that last installment on our car?" "No darling," she awswered. Frank then asked, "Morag, did you ever send off that tax return?" "Oh no, I forgot" said Morag. "And one last thing," Frank said, "did you remember to renew the TV licence?" "Damn it...No, I was going to do it when we got back." Frank grabbed her and gave her the biggest kiss in forty years. Morag pulled away and gasped, "What's that for?" "One things for sure," Frank said, "they'll find us!" | |
Joke by siberian9, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged planes , tv licence , not paying - Current Score: 112 - Added: 4 months, 19 days ago
| A little boy and his mum were sitting on plane one day, and the little boy turns to his mum and asks "Mum if big dogs have little baby dogs, and big cats have little baby cats, why don't big planes have little baby planes?" The mother unsure how to answer the questions says "Ask the stewardess" So the little boy turns to the stewardess and asks "if big dogs have little baby dogs, and big cats have little baby cats, why don't big planes have little baby planes?" The stuardess thinks for a while, and replies: "Because Ryanair always pulls out on time, go and ask your mother what that means". | |
Joke by templett, in Sex and shit > Pregnancy - Tagged sex education , planes , animals , children - Current Score: 27 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Today being the Anniversary of the Glasgow Airport terror attack, you can ensure it's safe for you and your family to fly by following this simple advice: Just as the plane's about to take off, stand up and sing the Afghanistan national anthem. If anyone joins in, GET OFF THE PLANE. | |
Joke by eviltorry, in Religion and racism > Muslims - Tagged anniversary , terrorists , airport , planes - Current Score: 26 - Added: 5 months, 1 day ago
| Great that cigarette packets are gonna have nasty pictures on them to help reduce smoking deaths but, by the same token, shouldn't the side of aeroplanes display pictures of plane crashes? | |
Joke by Aspen, in Illness and mortality > Smoking - Tagged smoking , cigarettes , planes , aeroplanes - Current Score: 22 - Added: 1 month, 29 days ago
| A farmer and his wife went to a fair. The farmer was fascinated by the airplanes and asked a pilot how much a ride would cost. "$10 for 3 minutes," replied the pilot. "That's too much," said the farmer. The pilot thought for a second and then said, "I'll make you a deal. If you and your wife ride for 3 minutes without uttering a sound, the ride will be free. But if you make a sound, you'll have to pay $10." The farmer and his wife agreed and went for a wild ride. After they landed, the pilot said to the farmer, "I want to congratulate you for not making a sound. You are a brave man." "Maybe so," said the farmer, "but I gotta tell ya, I almost screamed when my wife fell out." | |
Joke by IrishRussell, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged wife , planes , money - Current Score: 18 - Added: 1 year ago
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