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| How many women with PMS does it take to screw in a light bulb? One. ONE!! And do you know WHY it only takes ONE? Because no one else in this house knows HOW to change a light bulb. They don't even know the bulb is BURNED OUT. They would sit in this house in the dark for THREE DAYS before they figured it OUT. And once they figured it out they wouldn't be able to find the light bulbs despite the fact that they've been in the SAME CUPBOARD for the past SEVENTEEN YEARS. But if they did, by some miracle, actually find the light bulbs, TWO DAYS LATER the chair that they dragged from two rooms over to stand on to change the STUPID light bulb would STILL BE IN THE SAME SPOT!! AND UNDERNEATH IT WOULD BE THE CRUMPLED WRAPPER THE STUPID FUCKING LIGHT BULBS CAME IN! WHY?! BECAUSE NO ONE IN THIS HOUSE EVER CARRIES OUT THE GARBAGE!! IT'S A WONDER WE HAVE'NT ALL SUFFOCATED FROM THE PILES OF GARBAGE THAT ARE 12 FEET DEEP THROUGHOUT THE ENTIRE HOUSE. THE HOUSE!! IT WOULD TAKE AN ARMY TO CLEAN THIS........... I'm sorry... what did you ask me? |    |
Joke by welsh twat, in Sex and shit > Period - Tagged pms , pmt , woman , light bulb , one - Current Score: 159 - Added: 4 months, 12 days ago
| I was riding to work yesterday when I observed a female driver, who cut right in front of a pickup truck, causing the driver to drive onto the shoulder to avoid hitting her. This evidently angered the driver enough that he hung his arm out of the window and gave the woman the finger. "Man, that guy is stupid," I thought to myself. I ALWAYS smile nicely and wave in a sheepish manner whenever a female does anything to me in traffic, and here's why: I drive 48 miles each way every day to work. That's 96 miles each day. Of these, 16 miles each way is bumper-to-bumper. Most of the bumper-to-bumper is on an 8 lane highway. There are 7 cars every 40 feet for 32 miles. That works out to 982 cars every mile, or 31,424 cars. Even though the rest of the 32 miles is not bumper-to-bumper, I figure I pass at least another 4000 cars. That brings the number to something like 36,000 cars that I pass every day. Statistically, females drive half of these. That's 18,000 women drivers! In any given group of females, 1 in 28 has PMS. That's 642. According to Cosmopolitan, 70% describe their love life as dissatisfying or unrewarding. That's 449. According to the National Institute of Health, 22% of all females have seriously considered suicide or homicide. That's 98. And 34% describe men as their biggest problem. That's 33. According to the National Rifle Association, 5% of all females carry weapons and this number is increasing. That means that EVERY SINGLE DAY, I drive past at least one female that has a lousy love life, thinks men are her biggest problem, has seriously considered suicide or homicide, has PMS, and is armed. Give her the finger? I don't think so. | |
Joke by fatt, in Sex and shit > Sexist - Tagged women , driver , pms - Current Score: 30 - Added: 3 months, 20 days ago
| Have you heard about the new American radio station called WPMS? Each month, they play two weeks of love songs, one week of blues, one week of ragtime and two days of death metal. | |
Joke by nassi, in Jokes with no home > PMS - Tagged pms , radio , music , blues , ragtime , metal , america , american - Current Score: 25 - Added: 6 months, 24 days ago
| They call it 'PMS' because 'Mad Cow Disease' was already taken. | |
Joke by meathmick82, in Sex and shit > Tampons - Tagged women , pms , periods - Current Score: 8 - Added: 6 months, 8 days ago
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