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| Little Miss Muffet, Wanked on her tuffet, With a dildo the size of her arm. Along came a nigger, With a cock much bigger, And did her some permanant harm. |    |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Nursery Rhymes - Tagged black , dildo , cock , racist , poem - Current Score: 171 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| WOMAN'S POEM Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man, who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who loves to listen long, One who thinks before he speaks, One who'll call, not wait for weeks. I pray he's gainfully employed, When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed. Pulls out my chair and opens my door, Massages my back and begs to do more. Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind, Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?' I pray that this man will love me to no end, And always be my very best friend. MAN'S POEM I pray for a deaf-mute nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a pub and a golf course. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit. | |
Joke by ht, in Jokes with no home > poem - Tagged man , woman , poem - Current Score: 166 - Added: 10 months, 8 days ago
| How many emos does it take to change a light bulb? 1: None, they just sit in the dark and cry. Or 2: Two, one to change it and one to write a poem about how much they miss the old light bulb. | |
Joke by We Are The Lemon, in Religion and racism > Emo - Tagged emo , lightbulb , light bulb , dark , cry , poem - Current Score: 88 - Added: 1 year, 11 months ago
| My darling, my lover, my beautiful wife: Marrying you has screwed up my life. I see your face when I am dreaming. That's why I always wake up screaming. Kind, intelligent, loving and hot; This describes everything you are not. Love may be beautiful, love may be bliss, But I only slept with you 'cause I was pissed. Roses are red, violets are blue, sugar is sweet, and so are you. But the roses are wilting, the violets are dead, the sugar bowl'sempty and so is your head. I want to feel your sweet embrace; But don't take that paper bag off your face. I love your smile, your face, and your eyes Damn, I'm good at telling lies! My love, you take my breath away. What have you stepped in to smell this way? My feelings for you no words can tell, Except for maybe 'Go to hell.' What inspired this amorous rhyme? Two parts vodka, one part lime. | |
Joke by agentleman, in Jokes with no home > Poem - Tagged poem , poetry , wife , rhymes , theo spark - Current Score: 79 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| HOW DID THE 7 DWARVES GET THEIR NAMES? Miss Snow White was a randy cow, And desperate for a fuck, So off she went into the woods, To try and get some luck. She'd almost given up looking, When she saw some chimney smoke, Then she stumbled on the cottage, And went in for a poke. Her clothes came off in seconds. And she'd just removed her pants, When seven dwarves came marching in, With a merry song and dance. Snow White just stood there speechless, And thought she was in heaven, Originally after one good shag, But now she could have seven. Straight away she took command, My fanny needs a lick! And when one dwarf moved forward, She said -You'd better drop your pick. So down he went onto all fours, And said -I ain't licking that-, Not there, that is my arse-hole, You DOPEY little brat!- The next dwarf started blushing, Do we have to do it here?- Snow White said -Don't be BASHFUL, Unless you're a fucking queer- So reluctantly he whipped it out, To prove he was no fool. And Snow White gave a big -Heigh-Ho-. As she rode upon his tool. Now one dwarf wasn't smiling. Cos he hadn't had a sniff, And due to his impatience, He couldn't raise a stiff. Relax- you GRUMPY bastard-, So he did as he was told, And as soon as he was hard enough, He shot his fuckin load. The next dwarf got a blow-job, And she took him deep quite easy, But she just avoided brain-damage, When he sneezed, she called him SNEEZY. With three dwarves left, she turned and said, You're next, I want your knob!- But no sooner had he entered her, he was sleeping on the job. Wake up you SLEEPY bastard- She wanted more from him. he woke with such excitement, That he filled her hairy quim. The next dwarf rammed his up her, And shagged her fanny raw, A dazed Snow White then whimpered. That should be against the law.- He made poor Snow White tremble, He was so big and thick. No wonder you're so HAPPY, With that fucking great big dick- With one dwarf still remaining, But feeling rather sore, She said -You'll have to use your tongue, My twat can't take no more!- So he put his tongue to work, Where others had placed their cocks, And 'cos he made Snow White feel better, She named the last one DOC. So there's the truth about the dwarves, And how they got their names, By satisfying Miss Snow White, And joining in her games. | |
Joke by snorbens, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged snow white , poem , dwarf - Current Score: 71 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| My wife has started visiting a new hairdressers run by a Geordie girl. Today my wife asked for a 'perm'. The Geordie girl started, "I wandered lonely as a cloud..." | |
Joke by staffer, in Religion and racism > Geordies - Tagged geordie , perm , hairdressers , poem - Current Score: 70 - Added: 2 months, 17 days ago
| Spider spider on the wall, You think you're smart, you know fuck all, You've climbed a wall that's just been plastered, And now you're stuck you stupid bastard. | |
Joke by chelsea_steve, in Jokes with no home > Nursery Rhymes - Tagged poem , spider - Current Score: 64 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Paul stood upon the grassy bank, His heart was all a-quiver, She took off her suspender belt, And her leg fell in the river. | |
Joke by Geoff the Clownfish, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged poem , heather mills , paul mccartney , beatles , leg , river - Current Score: 62 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Marys lamb had foot and mouth Her cow had B.S.E. But Mary was a kinky slut And gave them H.I.V. | |
Joke by CockThrobber, in Jokes with no home > Nursery Rhymes - Tagged poem , bestiality , sheep , h.i.v. , foot and mouth - Current Score: 53 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| A magnificent site Sickipedia Was once our favourite media It developed a tumour Of twats without humour Now it's all shit and copies they feed ya | |
Joke by Boogaloo, in Jokes with no home > Limerick - Tagged poem , sickipedia , twats , humour , boogaloo - Current Score: 50 - Added: 6 months, 19 days ago
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