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| After my divorce, I realised that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss. |    |
Joke by bawbag, in Jokes with no home > Divorce - Tagged wife , divorce , poker - Current Score: 148 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| This American bloke goes into a pub in Southern England. He gets himself a pint and then he challenges anybody to a game of pool and he beats everyone. The barman says, "you're good, but Smiffy will have you." Then he challenges anybody to a game of darts and he beats everybody at that as well. The barman says, "you're very good, but Smiffy will have you." Poker is the next challenge, and once again he beats every person he plays. The barman says, "you're fucking good, but Smiffy will have you." With this, the American chap says, "who the fuck is Smiffy?" The barman points to a little elderly man wearing a flat cap, sitting at a table in the corner of the pub. He walks over to the table and the old guy stands up, then flicks a beer mat up in the air, drinks a pint of lager, lights a fag, pulls his trousers down and catches the beer mat right in the crack of his arse and says, "can you do that?" The American flicks the beer mat up in air, drinks a pint of lager, lights a fag, pulls his trousers down........and Smiffy fuckin' had him! | |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged snithy , beer mat , pint , lager , fag , pub , crack , american , poker - Current Score: 132 - Added: 5 months, 20 days ago
| I lost my shirt playing poker with a black guy last night. I thought I had him when I had a royal flush, but then the fucker played the race card... | |
Joke by bleary, in Religion and racism > Racism - Tagged poker , nigger , racism , race card - Current Score: 108 - Added: 3 months, 27 days ago
| A man walks in to a bar and is astonished to see three men and a dog playing poker at a corner table. He watched in awe,then remarked, "That is the most amazing dog I have ever seen!". "Nah, he's actually useless," said one of the players. "Every time he gets a good hand he can't stop wagging his tail". | |
Joke by CS, in Jokes with no home > Bar Jokes - Tagged bar , man , dog , poker , woof fucking woof - Current Score: 95 - Added: 3 months, 26 days ago
| I got kicked out of the casino in Las Vegas. I didn't cheat. I just misunderstood what the crap table was for. | |
Joke by cooperman, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged poker - Current Score: 57 - Added: 9 months, 18 days ago
| Little johnny walks in on his mum and dad having sex "what're you doing?", he asks "umm", says his dad "we're playing poker-she's my wildcard." A day later he walks in on his brother having sex with his girlfriend and again asks "what're you doing? His brother replies "we're playing poker and she's my wildcard" Two days later his dad walks in on little johnny having a wank "what're you doing?", he asks "i'm playing poker., says johnny "well where's your wildcard?" "who needs a wildcard when you've got a good hand." | |
Joke by Eoghain616, in Sex and shit > 2 Girls 1 Cup - Tagged poker , wildcard - Current Score: 37 - Added: 10 months, 5 days ago
| She left him on the sofa when the phone rang, and was back in a few seconds. "Who was it?" he asked. "My husband," she replied. "I better get going," he said. "Where was he?" "Relax. He's downtown playing poker with you." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged poker , husband , sex - Current Score: 31 - Added: 9 months, 28 days ago
| A man walks into a pub and in the corner are three men and a dog playing poker! The guy says, "fucking hell......he must be a clever dog!" The barman replies, "no....every time he gets a good hand, he wags his tail." | |
Joke by garrygwizz, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged dog , poker , pub , tail - Current Score: 18 - Added: 6 months, 16 days ago
| Little Johnny came home from school,ran upstairs and into his parents bedroom.His parents were in bed having sex so Johnny asked what they were doing."we're playing poker",said his dad."I'm the King and your mother is the Queen".Next Johnny went into his sister's bedroom and found her having sex with her boyfriend.Again Johnny asked what they were doing."We're playing poker",said the boyfriend."I'm the King and your sister is the Queen".Finally Little Johnny went into his Grand-fathers bedroom and found him in bed having a wank.Johnny again asks what he's doing."I'm playing poker",replied his Grand-father,"I'm the King"."But where is the Queen",asked Little Johnny.His Grand-father replied,"who needs a Queen when you have a hand like this". | |
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Sex and shit > 2 Girls 1 Cup - Tagged little johnny , poker , sex , wank - Current Score: 18 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| I was playing Texas Hold'Em poker last night when two queens came into my hand. I had shit cards though... you win some you lose some. | |
Joke by chuckstone, in Sex and shit > Gay - Tagged poker , texas - Current Score: 10 - Added: 1 week ago
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