Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Page 1 of 2 - Next Page
| I had a knock at my door earlier, it was a policeman... "Mr Cook?" "Yes," I replied. "I'm afraid your dog has just been reported to have chased someone on a bike." I said, "That's bullshit, 'cause my dog doesn't have a bike!" |    |
Joke by cook9, in Jokes with no home > Clean - Tagged dog , bike , policeman , clean - Current Score: 157 - Added: 3 months, 18 days ago
| When I was at school, a policeman came in and did a talk on drugs. Couldn't understand a fucking word he said! | |
Joke by djgalaxe, in Jokes with no home > Drugs - Tagged tim vine , police , policeman , drugs - Current Score: 101 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| The other night my girlfriend and I had parked in a quiet road for a bit of fun when a policeman caught us. He gave me a ticket for doing 69 in a 30mph zone... | |
Joke by staffer, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged zone , 69 , ticket , policeman , copper , parked - Current Score: 50 - Added: 5 months, 15 days ago
| A young lad was racing down a one way road when he was pulled for speeding. As the policeman approached he realised the young man was singing: "21 today, 21 today!" The policeman said, "Oh, it's your birthday. I'll let you off then" As the young man sped off he ran over a paki. "22 today, 22 today!". | |
Joke by donkeyjoker, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged paki , car , policeman , cop - Current Score: 49 - Added: 2 months, 27 days ago
| A policeman from near clapham junction, Had a penis that just wouldn't function, For the rest of his life, he misled his wife, With a dollop of snot on his truncheon | |
Joke by pornstar, in Jokes with no home > Police - Tagged policeman , truncheon - Current Score: 39 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Fella says to a Police Dog Handler "Why's your dog licking its arse?" The Copper replied "He's just bit a Paki and he's getting the taste out his mouth" | |
Joke by funnybone, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged paki , police , policeman , police dog handler , police dog , dog - Current Score: 19 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| One Friday night, a policeman saw a car parked up at "in a country lane." Shining his torch in the window, he saw a young man fidgeting in the front seat glancing at his watch and a young woman sitting in the back seat and reading a magazine. "Excuse me, son" said the cop, "but how old are the two of you?" "I'm eighteen, sir, and" (checking his watch another time) "in ten more minutes, she'll be sixteen!" | |
Joke by whats the point, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged policeman - Current Score: 15 - Added: 6 months, 7 days ago
| A lady calls the police to report her husband is missing. The police arrive and ask for a description. She tells them he's 6 foot 2 inches tall, has blonde wavy hair and a smile that makes everybody love him. The police then go to the next door neighbour to verify this report and the lady next door tells the police, "You can't believe her. He's 5 foot 4 inches tall, has no hair and he wears a perpetual frown on his face." The neighbour then goes and asks the lady why she gave the police such a false report. She replies, "Just because I reported him missing, doesn't mean I wanted him back!" | |
Joke by Kristow, in Illness and mortality > Marriage - Tagged wife , husband , marriage , policeman , missing , neighbour - Current Score: 15 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| I walked out of the pub the other night, pissed out of my head. For a laugh, I got my willy out and started waving it at traffic going past. Soon a cop car drove up and stopped. The cop stuck his head out of the window and said, "what would your mother say if she walked past and saw that?" I said, "she'd shout 'It's a miracle! It's a miracle! My legs have grown back!'" | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Alcohol - Tagged flasher , mother , policeman , miracle - Current Score: 7 - Added: 8 months, 20 days ago
| A policeman stopped me the other day and said, "I'd like you to blow into this bag sir." I said "What for officer?" He said "My chips are too hot." | |
Joke by CUTTSY, in Jokes with no home > Police - Tagged policeman , blow , bag , officer , chips , hot - Current Score: 1 - Added: 8 months, 11 days ago
Page 1 of 2 - Next Page
Custurd spent 0.03ms doing 12 queries and 0.09s processing. She's 1.38% angry.
Sickipedia v2.7 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel