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| WAYS TO ANNOY THE PERSON IN THE NEXT TOILET CUBICLE Fill up a large flask with Lucozade. Squirt it erratically under the stall cubicle of your neighbours while yelling, "Whoa! Easy big boy!" Grunt and strain real loud for 30 minutes and then drop a melon into the toilet bowl from a height of 6 feet. Sigh relaxingly. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise. Say, "C'mon Mr. Happy!! Don't fall asleep on me!!" Say, "Hmm, I've never seen that colour before. ......" Say, "Interesting. . . more floaters than sinkers. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a twenty pound note and drop the note under the cubicle wall of your neighbour. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that back over here please"? |    |
Joke by baldlice, in Jokes with no home > Toilet - Tagged shit , poo , toilet , cubicle - Current Score: 76 - Added: 5 months, 24 days ago
| Why did the baker's hands smell? Because he kneaded a poo! | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Scatalogical - Tagged poo , shit - Current Score: 54 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| A man walks into a service station bathroom and on his way in he slips on a piece of turd lying on the floor. He quickly gets back up, brushes himself down and makes his way to the urinals and whilst urinating he heard a scream and a thud and saw a man walking in looking annoyed and he said "I just slipped on that piece of turd in the hallway" The man at the urinal says "Oh I just did that" Then the other man smacks him and shouts "You dirty bastard" | |
Joke by EnglishWhiteBoy, in Sex and shit > Shit - Tagged poo , toilet , service station , slip , dirty bastard , turd , defecation , englishwhiteboy - Current Score: 29 - Added: 5 months, 12 days ago
| dyslexics are teople poo | |
Joke by graemedj, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged poo - Current Score: 17 - Added: 8 months, 4 days ago
| Pilot: "Ladies and Gentlemen, this is your captain. The weather is good and we should have a smooth and uneventful flight. OH MY GOD...." Pilot: (Five minutes later) "Ladies and Gentlemen, I am sorry if I scared you earlier. While I was talking, the flight attendent spilled hot coffee in my lap. You should see the front of my pants." Passenger: "That's nothing! You should see the back of mine." | |
Joke by CocaCola, in Jokes with no home > Airlines - Tagged pilot , passenger , coffee , flight , poo , shit - Current Score: 17 - Added: 8 months, 17 days ago
| What's brown and lumpy? Trisha Goddards tit. | |
Joke by Razza, in Sex and shit > Shit - Tagged trisha goddard , cancer , breast , tits , blacks , dead , poo , shit - Current Score: 14 - Added: 3 months, 20 days ago
| Two bikers are sitting at a bar. One turns to his mate and pulls a face like a jew presented with a bill; 'What's that smell?, you farted or shit yerself?' The other biker doesn't miss a beat. 'Shit meself'. 'Ah christ mate, why don't you go clean yourself up?' Sipping his pint thoughtfully, his mate replies; 'Haven't finished yet.' | |
Joke by BARON VON SCHITZENKOFFEN, in Sex and shit > Shit - Tagged bikers , shit , poo , fart - Current Score: 8 - Added: 8 months, 8 days ago
| GOLF TERMS EXPLAINED A Sally Gunnell - not pretty but a good runner A Paris Hilton - an expensive hole A Dennis Wise - a nasty 5 footer A Diego Maradona - a very nasty 5 footer A Salman Rushdie - an impossible read A Rio Ferdinand - Lipped out A Rock Hudson - thought it was straight, but it wasn't A Cuban - needs one more revolution An Elton John - a big bender that lips the rim An Adolf Hitler - two shots in the bunker A Yasser Arafat - ugly and in the sand A Kate Winslett - a bit fat but otherwise perfect A Kate Moss - bit thin A Gerry Adams - playing a Provisional A David Trimble - tentative prod A Glen Miller - kept low and didn't make it over the water An Arthur Scargill - a great strike but a poor result A Russell Grant - a fat iron A Peter Mandelson - an unbelievable iron A Rodney King - over-clubbed An O.J. Simpson - got away with it A Paula Radcliffe - not as ugly as a Sally Gunnell but still a good runner A Princess Grace - should have taken a driver A Princess Di - shouldn't have taken a driver A Robin Cook - just died on the hill A Michael Jackson - gradually fading A Douglas Bader - looked good in the air, but didn't have the legs An Arsene Wenger - everyone saw where it went but you A Ken Livingstone - quite far left A Jean-Marie LePen - a long way right A Ladyboy - looks like an easy hole but all is not what it seems A condom - safe but didn't feel real good A circus tent - a BIG top An Anna Kournikova - looks great, but unlikely to get a result A Vinnie Jones - nasty kick when you're not expecting it A Ryanair - flies well but lands a long way from the target A sister-in-law - up there but I know that I shouldn't be | |
Joke by Hannah121e, in Celebrity and news events > 9/11 - Tagged golf , terms , poo , yup - Current Score: 8 - Added: 1 month, 28 days ago
| Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? He had to work it out with his fingers... | |
Joke by craig__2k4, in Jokes with no home > Maths - Tagged poo , shit , stool , arse , ass , crap - Current Score: 5 - Added: 4 weeks ago
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