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| What does Shannon Matthews and a porno mag have in common? You hide them under your bed when you're done with them. |    |
Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > Shannon Matthews - Tagged shannon , matthews , porno - Current Score: 239 - Added: 8 months ago
| Playboy have brought out a new magazine just for married men. It has the same pictures in it month after month after month....... | |
Joke by bawbag, in Sex and shit > Pornography - Tagged porno , playboy , married - Current Score: 217 - Added: 2 months ago
| What's the difference between Heather Mills and your car? You don't burst out laughing whenever your car has a breakdown. | |
Joke by TGS, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather , mills , mccartney , slut , golddigging , porno , bitch , fuckhead , one leg , fucktard , greedy , hypocrite , raspberry , pathetic creature , arab prostitute - Current Score: 178 - Added: 1 year ago
| I saw a sign in a public toilet yesterday. It said "Please leave this toilet in the condition that you would like to have found it in". So I left a porno mag and a line of coke. | |
Joke by stig2112, in Jokes with no home > Miscellaneous - Tagged toilet , porn , bathroom , pornography , porno , magazine , cocaine , drugs - Current Score: 163 - Added: 1 month ago
| How come a securicor cash delivery van carrying maybe £70,000 is armoured with plated steel and the driver wears a stab proof vest and a protective helmet, when a fuel tanker driver carrying petrol worth £200,000 has nothing to defend himself with apart from a rolled up porno mag. | |
Joke by stig2112, in Celebrity and news events > Petrol Prices - Tagged fuel , driver , porno , top gear - Current Score: 152 - Added: 4 months ago
| I was banging one out over a porno mag this morning when my mum caught me and started slapping me around the head. The newsagent wasn't happy either. | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged wanking , porno , mum - Current Score: 139 - Added: 8 months ago
| A young lady in the maternity ward just prior to labour is asked by the midwife if she would like her husband to be present at the birth. "I'm afraid I don't have a husband" she replies "O.K. do you have a boyfriend?" asks the Midwife "No, no boyfriend either." "Do you have a partner then?" "No, I'm unattached, I'll be having my baby on my own." After the birth the midwife again speaks to the young woman. "You have a healthy bouncing baby girl, but I must warn you before you see her that the baby is black" "Well," replies the girl. "I was very down on my luck, with no money and nowhere to live, and so I accepted a job in a Porno movie. The lead man was black." "Oh, I'm very sorry," says the midwife, "that's really none of my business and I'm sorry that I have to ask you these awkward questions but I must also tell you that the baby has blonde hair." "Well yes," the girl again replies, "you see I desperately needed the money and there was this Swedish guy also involved in the movie, what else could I do?" "Oh, I'm sorry," the midwife repeats, "that's really none of my business and I hate to pry further but your baby has slanted eyes." "Well yes," continues the girl, "I was incredibly hard up and there was a little Chinese man also in the movie, I really had no choice." At this the midwife again apologises collects the baby and presents her to the girl, who immediately proceeds to give baby a slap on the bum. The baby starts crying and the mother exclaims, "Well thank fuck for that !" "What do you mean?" says the midwife, shocked. "Well," says the girl extremely relieved, "I had this horrible feeling that the little bastard was going to bark!" | |
Joke by pdf1, in Sex and shit > Bestiality - Tagged sex , porno , child , dog - Current Score: 20 - Added: 11 months ago
| I eventually got a camera phone so I said to the wife that we should use the video feature and make a saucy video. 'It only lasts 15 seconds though' she said. 'It's OK, we can extend the foreplay'. | |
Joke by Gash TL, in Jokes with no home > Mobile Phone - Tagged camera video , porno , foreplay - Current Score: 12 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| I recently bought Indiana Jones 4. Imagine my disappointment when it turned out to be a film about an old cunt and some story about a crystal skull and not a porno starring a female called Diana Jones. | |
Joke by Gash TL, in Jokes with no home > Movies - Tagged in diana jones , porno , indiana jones , old harrison ford , crystal skull - Current Score: 12 - Added: 1 week ago
| I see they have just launched a new porno-mag for hardcore paedophiles. Its called.... Barely Foetal | |
Joke by OCollings, in Sex and shit > Child Abuse - Tagged paedo , paedophiles , porno , porn , hardcore - Current Score: 3 - Added: 7 months ago
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