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| You say patato, I say potato. You say tamato, I say fuck off and die you american cunt. |    |
Joke by longdog, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged american , potato , cunts - Current Score: 177 - Added: 4 months ago
| Patrick, who was on holiday from Ireland on Bondi beach, couldn't seem to make it with any of the girls. So he asked the local lifeguard for some advice. "Mate, it's obvious," says the lifeguard, "You're wearing them old baggy swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos - about two sizes too small and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin' ya mate...you'll have all the babes ya want!" The following weekend, Patrick hits the beach with his new tight Speedos, and his fist-sized potato. Everybody on the beach was disgusted as he walked by, covering their faces, turning away, and laughing, looking sick! So Patrick went back to the lifeguard again and asked him, "What's wrong now?" "JAHEESUS!" said the lifeguard. "Mate, the potato goes in front!" | |
Joke by andino, in Sex and shit > Shit - Tagged paddy , beach , potato , shit - Current Score: 128 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Paddy goes into a John Lewis department store and asks the shopkeeper, "Excuse me sir, but do you sell potato clocks?" The shopkeeper looks at him and says, "Are you taking the piss? We sell cuckoo clocks, carriage clocks, grandfather clocks, alarm clocks... what the fuck is a potato clock?" And Paddy says, "I don't know, but I start my new job at nine tomorrow, and the wife said 'You'd better get a potato clock.'" | |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged paddy , clock , potato , jeweller , cuckoo , carriage - Current Score: 103 - Added: 8 months ago
| The Wife's New Diet Regime Begin by standing on a comfortable surface, with plenty of room at each side. With a 5-lb potato sack in each hand, extend your arms straight out from your sides and hold them there as long as you can. Try to reach a full minute, and then relax. Each day you'll find that you can hold this position for just a bit longer. After a couple of weeks, move up to 10-lb potato sacks. Then try 50-lb potato sacks and then eventually try to get to where you can lift a 100-lb potato sack in each hand and hold your arms straight for more than a full minute. (She's at this level.) When you feel confident at that level, put a potato in each of the sacks | |
Joke by pornstar, in Illness and mortality > Disorder - Tagged wife , diet , sack , potato , minutes - Current Score: 81 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| An American walks into a grocers in Dublin. He strides up to the counter to a little old man and proclaims, "in America, we grow our potatoes to this size!" and holds his hands in a large oval shape. The Irishman says, "Yeah, we grow ours to fit our mouths as well." | |
Joke by philmassive, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged american , potato , ireland - Current Score: 31 - Added: 7 months ago
| An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman go for the same job. The manager says he wants each of them to go into his office one at a time to take a test. The Englishman goes in and is presented with a potato, a lettuce and a knife. The manager asks him which is the odd one out. The Englishman says, "the knife, that's mineral and the other two are vegetables." "Well done," says the manager, "send the Scottish guy in." The Scotsman is presented with the same test. He says, "the knife - you can eat the other two." "Fair enough," says the manager, "send in the Irish chap." The Irishman goes in, and is again faced with the same test. He answers, "the lettuce" "How have you reached that conclusion?" the manager asks. The Irishman says, "come on, it's dead easy - you can make chips with the other two," | |
Joke by pseudopaedo, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged english , irish , scottish , potato , lettuce , knife , chips - Current Score: 6 - Added: 8 months ago
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