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| When I was a teenager, I used to pray every night that the girl next door would fancy me so I could make love to her. When I grew up, I realised God didn't work like that, so I raped her and prayed for forgiveness. |    |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged god , rape , girl , sex , pray , teenage - Current Score: 1047 - Added: 8 months, 24 days ago
| When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. | |
Joke by issachunt, in Religion and racism > Chavs - Tagged god , lord , pray , bike - Current Score: 161 - Added: 10 months ago
| "This is Steve Fossett to tower. I am flying through the mountains and running out of fuel. Please instruct! " "Tower to Fossett. Tower to Fossett. Repeat after me, Our Father, who art in heaven..." | |
Joke by baldlice, in Celebrity and news events > Steve Fossett - Tagged pray , fossett , plane crash - Current Score: 13 - Added: 1 week ago
| Dear Lord, I pray for wisdom to understand my woman, love to forgive her, and patience for her moods. Because, Lord, if I pray for strength, I'll beat the bitch to death. AMEN | |
Joke by issachunt, in Religion and racism > Prayer - Tagged wife , pray , kill - Current Score: 10 - Added: 7 months ago
| As the storm raged, the captain realized his ship was sinking fast. He called out, "Anyone here know how to pray?" One man stepped forward. "Aye, Captain, I know how to pray." "Good," said the captain, "you pray while the rest of us put on our life jackets - we're one short." | |
Joke by mickle, in Religion and racism > Prayer - Tagged ship , sinking , captain , pray , me - Current Score: 9 - Added: 5 months, 15 days ago
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