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| There was a large flood in a village and everyone was told they had to leave. One man said to everyone, "I'll stay! God will save me!" The flood got higher and a boat came and the man in it said "Come on mate, get in!" "No" replied the man. God will save me! The flood got very high now and the man had to stand on the roof of his house. A helicopter soon came and the man offered him help. No, God will save me!" he said He eventually died by drowning. He then got to the gates of heaven and he said to God "Why didn't you save me?" God replied, "For fucks sake! I sent a boat and a helicopter. What more do you want!" |    |
Joke by niggers out, in Religion and racism > God - Tagged god , preacher , death - Current Score: 56 - Added: 9 months ago
| A five-year-old boy was mowing his front lawn and drinking a beer. The preacher who lived across the street saw the beer and came over to harass the kid. "Aren't you a little young to be drinking, son?" he asked. "That's nothing," the kid said after taking a swig of beer. "I got laid when I was three." "What? How did that happen?" "I don't remember. I was drunk." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Drunken - Tagged drunk , preacher , vicar , priest , beer - Current Score: 37 - Added: 10 months ago
| A Priest, a Pentecostal Preacher and a Rabbi all served as chaplains to the students of the University of Georgia in Athens. They would get together two or three times a week at the Varsity for coffee and to talk shop. One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't really all that hard. A real challenge would be to preach to a bear. One thing led to another and they decided to do an experiment. They would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and attempt to convert it. Seven days later, they're all together to discuss the "Experience". Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, is on crutches and has various bandages goes first. "Well," he says, "I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when I found him I began to read to him from the Catechism. Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle a lamb. The Bishop is coming out next week to give him first communion and confirmation." Reverend Billy Bob Jones spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, with an arm and both legs in casts and an IV drip. In his best fire and brimstone oratory he claimed, "WELL brothers, you KNOW that we don't sprinkle! I went out and I FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY WORD! But that bear wanted nothing to do with me. So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle.. We wrestled down one hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day praising Jesus" They both looked down at the Rabbi, who was lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IV's and monitors running in and out of him. He was in a very bad shape. Rabbi Stein looks up and struggles to speak to the others. "Looking back on it, circumcision may not have been the best way to start things off"..... | |
Joke by VAGINADINER, in Religion and racism > Priest - Tagged priest , pentacostal , preacher , rabbi , bear , convert - Current Score: 12 - Added: 9 months, 23 days ago
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