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| Lady in labour, shouting the usual shit, "Get this out of me, give me the drugs" She turns to her boyfriend and says "You did this to me you fucker" He replies casually "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse but you said fuck off it'll be too painful" |    |
Joke by sw3llh34d, in Sex and shit > Anal - Tagged anal , drugs , lady , labour , pregnant , pain - Current Score: 979 - Added: 3 months, 28 days ago
| In a second grade class, a little girl asks, "Teacher, can my Mommy get pregnant?" "How old is your mother, dear?" asks the teacher. "Forty." she replies. "Yes, dear, your mother could get pregnant." The little girl then asks, "Can my big sister get pregnant?" "Well, dear, how old is your sister?" The little girl answers, "Nineteen." "Oh yes, dear, your sister certainly could get pregnant." The little girl then asks, "Can I get pregnant?" "How old are you, dear?" The little girl answers, "I'm seven years old." "No, dear, you can't get pregnant..." Then, the little boy behind the little girl gives her a poke and says, "See, I told you we had nothing to worry about." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Little Girl/little Boy - Tagged kids , pregnant , mother , teacher , girl , boy , young - Current Score: 261 - Added: 5 months ago
| Bruce is driving over Harbor Bridge one day listening to some music in his car and just having a really great day. Suddenly he notices his girlfriend Sheila standing on the side of the bridge. Bruce slams on the brakes, bolts out of the car and shouts, "Sheila! What the hell are you doing, babe?" Sheila turns around with tears welling up in her eyes. "Bruce, honey! You got me pregnant. I don't want to be a burden, so I'm just gonna kill myself!" Bruce gets a lump in his throat and climbs back into his car. "Sheila, not only are you a great fuck, but you're a good sport about it too!" | |
Joke by eatmeat, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged suicide , pregnant - Current Score: 109 - Added: 11 months ago
| An 18 year old Italian girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for two months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant. Shouting, cursing, crying, the mother says, "who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!" The girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Ferrari stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and impeccably dressed in an Armani suit steps out of the of the Ferrari and enters the house. He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them: "Good morning, your daughter has informed me of the problem. I can't marry her because of my personal family situation but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life." "Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath a Ferrari, a beach house, two retail stores, a townhouse, a beachfront villa, and a $2,000,000 bank account. If a boy is born, my legacy will be a couple of factories and a $4,000,000 bank account. If twins, they will receive a factory and $2,000,000 each. However, if there is a miscarriage, what do you suggest I do?" At this point, the father, who had remained silent, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, "You fuck her again." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Itatians - Tagged fuck , italian , pregnant - Current Score: 96 - Added: 8 months ago
| Two pregnant women sat knitting one turns to the other and says "I hope mine's a boy because I've bought blue wool". The other woman replies "I hope mines a spastic because I've fucked up the arms". | |
Joke by Hugh(_!_)Janus, in Illness and mortality > children - Tagged pregnant , female , disabled , spastic , spazz - Current Score: 89 - Added: 1 year ago
| My girlfriend told me she's pregnant. It was an April Fools though. Joke's on her because I threw her down the stairs. | |
Joke by pst88, in Sex and shit > Pregnancy - Tagged girlfriend , pregnant , april fools - Current Score: 85 - Added: 3 months ago
| My life ambition is to have a threesome. I haven't achieved it yet although I did have sex with a pregnant woman... ...does that count? | |
Joke by albinobob123, in Sex and shit > Threesomes - Tagged pregnant , sex , threesome , albinobob - Current Score: 84 - Added: 1 month ago
| I made a monkey out of myself last night...... ...I got a black girl pregnant. | |
Joke by maxmoore, in Religion and racism > Blacks - Tagged black , pregnant , monkey , maxmoore - Current Score: 82 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| A couple have just had sex. The woman says, "If I got pregnant,what would we call the baby?". The man takes off his condom, ties a knot in it and flushes it down the toilet. "Well," he says,"if he can get out of that, we'll call him fucking Houdini!!" | |
Joke by cooperman, in Sex and shit > Pregnancy - Tagged condom , sex , pregnant , houdini - Current Score: 71 - Added: 7 months ago
| A woman was talking to her friend the other day. "Honestly, I dont know how I keep getting pregnant - it must be something in the air." The other woman replies, "yes, your legs." | |
Joke by tw2361, in Sex and shit > Pregnancy - Tagged woman , pregnant , legs - Current Score: 63 - Added: 1 month ago
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