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| Isn't technology amazing? I tried to open a new email account today. When it asked me to enter a password I entered "penis". Message flashed up "PASSWORD REJECTED, TOO SHORT". I thought, how the fuck do Microsoft know the size of my tallywacker? |    |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Jokes with no home > Technology - Tagged technology , e mail , microsoft , prick - Current Score: 261 - Added: 10 months ago
| An 86 year old man walked into a crowded doctor's office. As he approached the desk, the receptionist said, "Yes, sir, what are you seeing the doctor for today?" "There's something wrong with my penis," he replied. The receptionist became irritated and said, "You shouldn't come into a crowded office and say things like that." "Why not? You asked me what was wrong and I told you," he said. The receptionist replied, "You've obviously caused some embarrassment in this room full of people. You should have said there is something wrong with your ear or something and then discussed the problem further with the doctor in private." The man walked out, waited several minutes and then re-entered. The receptionist smiled smugly and asked, "Yes?' "There's something wrong with my ear," he stated. The receptionist nodded approvingly and smiled, knowing he had taken her advice. "And what is wrong with you ear, Sir?" "I can't piss out of it," the man replied. | |
Joke by sick puppy, in Illness and mortality > Diagnosis - Tagged prick , doctor , receptionist , ear - Current Score: 259 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| I'm an American, and I resent one of today's jokes. I am, in fact, a fat prick. | |
Joke by ogreatsnail, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged american , fat , prick , food - Current Score: 93 - Added: 5 months, 28 days ago
| A midget goes into a chemist's shop and says "I want the biggest condom you have." The chemist gets out the largest they do and the midget says "That's not big enough. What about the one outside?" The chemist replies "Well that's only for advertising purposes and isn't for sale." "Name your price," said the midget. So the chemist eventually sells him this large rubber prop for £50. The midget then stretches it all over his body until he's completely covered. "What do you think?" he asks. The chemist looks embarrassed and says "Well actually you look like a big prick." "Thank goodness for that," said the midget. "I'm tired of being called little cunt!" | |
Joke by GoonerEddie, in Illness and mortality > Midget - Tagged midget , chemist , condom , cunt , prick - Current Score: 60 - Added: 6 months ago
| i once knew this bloke before he died, and i don't think this bloke ever lied, cos he had a wife with a fanny so wide, that she was never fuckin' satisfied, so he made her a prick out of shining steel, two brass and a fucking great wheel, the brass balls he filled em' with cream, ant the whole fuckin issue was driven by steam, round and round went the fucking great wheel, in and out went the prick of steel, untill she cried "enough, i'm fuckin' satisfied", but now we come to the horrible bit, there was no way of stopping it, her arsehole to her fanny was split, and the whole fuckin' issue was covered in shit | |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Limerick - Tagged bloke , wife , steel , prick , steam , shit , brass , cream , fanny - Current Score: 54 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Do you think that when Sting dies, everyone will call him Stung? | |
Joke by bleary, in Religion and racism > Geordies - Tagged sting , the police , prick , kevin mcaleer - Current Score: 42 - Added: 4 months, 23 days ago
| A minister, a priest, and a rabbi went for a hike one very hot day. They were sweating and exhausted when they came upon a small lake. Since it was fairly secluded, they took off all their clothes and jumped in the water. Refreshed, the trio decided to pick a few berries while enjoying their "freedom." As they were crossing an open area, along came a group of ladies from town. The men ran for cover, with the minister and priest covering their privates and the rabbi covering his face. After the ladies were gone and the men had retrieved their clothes, the minister asked the rabbi why he covered his face and not his privates. The rabbi replied, "I don't know about you, but in MY congregation, it's my face they would recognize." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Religion and racism > Rabbi - Tagged rabbi , priest , minister , woman , sex , prick , dick - Current Score: 38 - Added: 8 months ago
| Two nine year old girls get chatting after their sex education lesson. "Well, do you know what a penis is then?" "I'm not sure, I'll ask my Dad tonight." So the young girl goes home and tells her dad that she's had sex education and doesn't know what a penis is. Being a man of few words but lots of action, he drops his pants and points to him self. "This is a penis." The next day the two girls meet up again. "Did you find out what a penis is?" "Yes, it's like a prick but much smaller!" | |
Joke by sick puppy, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged sex education , penis , prick - Current Score: 27 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| Britain's Andy Murray: Ranked No. 4 in the world US Open Finalist Recent winner of the St. Petersburg Open Winner of back-to-back Masters titles 13 consecutive ATP victories First British player to win four titles in a season He's lost to Nalbandian tonight. Fucking useless Scottish prick! | |
Joke by Boogaloo, in Celebrity and news events > Andy Murray - Tagged andy murray , britain , british , scottish , prick , tennis , sport - Current Score: 20 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| What did the elephant say to the naked man? "How do you breath through something so small?" | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged elephant , dick , prick - Current Score: 18 - Added: 10 months ago
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