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| Girl: "Forgive me father for I have sinned." Priest: "What have you done my child?" Girl: "I called a man a son of a bitch." Priest: "Why did you call him a son of a bitch?" Girl: "Because he touched my hand." Priest: "Like this?" (as he touches her hand) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call a man a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he touched my breast." Priest: "Like this?" (as he touched her breast) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he took off my clothes, father." Priest: "Like this?" (as he takes off her clothes) Girl: "Yes father." Priest: "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "Then he stuck his you know what into my you know where." Priest: "Like this?" (as he stuck his you know what into her you know where) Girl: "YES FATHER, YES FATHER, YES FATHER!!!" Priest: (after a few minutes): "That's no reason to call him a son of a bitch." Girl: "But father he had AIDS!" Priest: "THAT SON OF A BITCH!!!" |    |
Joke by NUFC, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged sex , priests , catholic , hiv , aids - Current Score: 395 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| A drunk stumbles out of a bar and runs into two priests. He runs up to them and says, "I'm Jesus Christ." The first priest says, "No, son, I'm Jesus Christ." So the drunk says it to the second priest. The second priest replies, "No, son, I'm Jesus Christ." The drunk says, "Look, I can prove it." He walks back into the bar with the priests and the bartender takes one look at the drunk and exclaims, "Jesus Christ, you're here again?" | |
Joke by mamma mia, in Illness and mortality > Drinking - Tagged drunk , priests , jesus christ - Current Score: 211 - Added: 4 months ago
| Why is the Catholic clergy so opposed to abortion? Because it means there are less children to molest. | |
Joke by Hannah Pimperton, in Religion and racism > Catholicism - Tagged catholic , priests , abortion - Current Score: 63 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| What do you give a paedophile who has everything? A bigger parish! | |
Joke by sick puppy, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged priests , paedophiles - Current Score: 42 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Saying that all Pakis smell is like saying that all blacks are criminals. It's also like saying that all priests are paedophiles. It's simply true. | |
Joke by justincider, in Religion and racism > Nigger - Tagged pakis , blacks , paedophiles , criminals , priests - Current Score: 33 - Added: 3 months ago
| Being a priest is a lot like being a plumber; you spend much of your time plugging small holes. | |
Joke by gartnavel, in Religion and racism > Priest - Tagged priest , priests , paedophile , paedophilia , catholic , catholicism , plumber , sex - Current Score: 24 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| The stockbroker was nervous about being in prison because his cellmate looked like a real thug. "Don't worry," the gruff looking fellow said, "I'm in here for a white collar crime too." "Well, that's a relief," sighed the stockbroker. "I was sent to prison for fraud and insider trading." "Oh nothing fancy like that for me," grinned the convict. "I just murdered a couple of priests." | |
Joke by sick puppy, in Religion and racism > Priest - Tagged stcokbroker , jail , murder , priests - Current Score: 15 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| How do you get a priest to fuck a nun? Dress her as a choir boy. | |
Joke by Hercules Poirot, in Religion and racism > Catholicism - Tagged priests , nuns - Current Score: 13 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| I often wonder why there are so many paedophiles amongst the Catholic priesthood. Well, in my opinion, teaching them to say "let us prey" gives out the wrong message. | |
Joke by geemack, in Religion and racism > Catholicism - Tagged catholic , catholics , prey , priest , priests , paedophile - Current Score: 9 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| A priest fell over this cliff, and was hanging on with his fingertips, and he looked up and said, 'Lord, can you help me? And a voice said, 'Let go of the cliff, your body will be dashed on the rocks below, and this time tomorrow you will be sat on the right-hand side of God." And the priest said, "Is there anyone else up there who can fuckin' help me?" | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Catholicism - Tagged priests , god , cliff , fingertips , lord , voice , rocks , hanging , help! - Current Score: 5 - Added: 11 months ago
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