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Browsing tag: prison
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95% of black males say they enjoy sex in the shower.

The other 5% haven't been to prison yet.
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Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged racist , black , gay , homo , prison , rape , sex  - Current Score: 441 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago

My mate has just been sent to prison for six months, he pulled three people out of a burning building. Unfortunately it turned out they were firefighters.I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Prison - Tagged prison , six , firemen , hero , burning  - Current Score: 249 - Added: 1 month, 27 days ago

Andrew Smith boasted on youtube that he had "the eyes of a killer" after stamping a man to death.

Let's see how much he boasts when after a few months in prison he has the arsehole of Elton John.
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Joke by bigboy, in Celebrity and news events > Killer - Tagged eyes of a killer , prison , bumming , elton john , youtube , andrew smith  - Current Score: 177 - Added: 1 day ago

A convicted drug dealer is in prison, and his father, an old farmer, comes to visit. His father explains that they are having problems.
"Son, the ground is frozen. It is too hard for me to dig myself at my age, but I can't afford extra men or to hire machines- I don't think we will be able to plant crops this year, which will mean we will go bankrupt and lose the farm."

Later the prisoner goes back to his cell and writes a letter to his father- " Dear Father, please be aware that a good friend of mine will be visiting soon. There is a large quantity of stuff he is collecting. It is hidden on the farm, he will know exactly what to do."

Some weeks later the prioner's father comes to visit. "Well, son, your friend never showed up, but before I even got your letter the police came round, searched the whole house and dug up all the land around, but they didn't find anything."

The prisoner smiles, " Happy planting, dad."
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Joke by twayne, in Jokes with no home > Drugs - Tagged drugs , prison , wit , oneupmanship , police , father , son , clever  - Current Score: 150 - Added: 4 months ago

Yesterday a severe stutterer was sent to prison for drink driving.

He was given six months but the police don't think he will finish his sentence.
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Joke by appy2be, in Illness and mortality > Stutter - Tagged stutter , prison , driving , sentence  - Current Score: 136 - Added: 7 months ago

Three blokes are in a South African jail. Two of them are white, and one of them is black. The black guy asks the first white bloke, "what you in for?"
"Murdered a black," the white man responds.
"How long did you get?" inquires the black man.
The white man replies, "10 years, but the judge said I would be out in five with good behaviour."

"Shit," said the black man, turning to the other white man. "And what about you?"
The white man says, "I raped a black woman."
The black man asks, "how long you get?"
The white man replies, "two years, but the judge said I would be out in a year with good behaviour."

The white man ponders and asks, "what are you in for?"
"Riding a bicycle with no lights," he replies.
"How long did you get?" asks the white man.
The black man sighs, "15 years, and the judge said I was lucky it was daylight or it would have been 30."
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Joke by IchKommen, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged nigger , black , rape , murder , prison  - Current Score: 118 - Added: 10 months ago

NEWSFLASH!!!

A man who robbed banks and building societies, disguised as a woman, has finally been caught.
The judge gave him a long prison sentence, and warned him that his career as a female impersonator was probably not over just yet...
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Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Prison - Tagged banks , woman , prison , sentence , female , impersonator  - Current Score: 99 - Added: 4 weeks ago

I read in the paper the other day how a clairvoyant midget escaped from prison.

The headline said 'Small Medium at Large'.
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Joke by Randall, in Illness and mortality > Midget - Tagged midget , prison , clairvoyant  - Current Score: 92 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

What did the paedophile say when he was released from prison?

"I feel like a kid again."
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Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged paedophile , prison  - Current Score: 85 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago

NEWS FLASH:

John Darwin went missing again today.

He was last seen in the prison gym on the fucking rowing machine.
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Joke by fatface, in Celebrity and news events > John Darwin - Tagged canoeman , darwin , prison , gym , missing , canoe , row  - Current Score: 84 - Added: 3 months ago

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