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| I came home yesterday and found that my wife had discovered my private camcorder collection and was watching one of them. She looked really shocked and I was really angry. So I ruined it for her and told her the little girl dies at the end. |    |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Child Abuse - Tagged home , wife , private , camcorder , shocked , angry , dies - Current Score: 197 - Added: 3 months ago
| Here are just a few of the amazing advantages from owning a company car: - It accelerates at a phenomenal rate; - It has a much shorter braking distance than your private car; - It takes speed bumps at twice the speed of private cars; - The battery, radiator water, oil and tyres never have to be checked; - It can always be driven to your destination, even with the oil warning light flashing; - It doesn't need cleaning at all, unlike private cars; - The suspension is reinforced to allow for the weekend loads of bricks, concrete slabs and other building material including trips to the rubbish tip; - Unusual and alarming engine noises are easily eliminated by turning up the radio; - It needs no security system and may be left anywhere, unlocked and with the keys in the ignition; and - It has special food and drink resistant seat material unlike a private car. | |
Joke by EdgarBriggs, in Jokes with no home > Cars - Tagged company , cars , private , oil , engine - Current Score: 106 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| True Story - Always wear clean underwear in public, especially when working under your vehicle. The husband told his wife to carry on with the shopping while he fixed the car. The wife returned later to see a small group of people near the car.On closer inspection, she saw a pair of hairy legs protruding from under the chassis. Unfortunately, although the man was wearing shorts,his lack of underpants turned his private parts into glaringly public ones. Unable to stand the embarrassment, she dutifully stepped forward, quickly put her hand up his shorts and tucked everything back in place. On regaining her feet, she looked across the bonnet and found herself staring at her husband who was standing idly by. The RAC mechanic, however had to have 3 stitches in his forehead. | |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged husband , wife , car , rac , balls , private - Current Score: 60 - Added: 7 months ago
| A young man was in town looking for a little something from the ladies. A cab driver gave him an address and told him he could find anything he wanted there. When the young man arrived, he saw a door with a small panel on it. He knocked and the panel slid open. A female voice asked what he wanted. "I want to get screwed," said the man. "OK, but this is a private club. Slide twenty bucks in the slot as an initiation fee," answered the voice. The man slid twenty dollars in the slot, the panel closed, and ten minutes passed. Nothing happened. He began to pound on the door, and the panel slid open. "Hey," exclaimed the man, "I want to get screwed!" "What?" said the voice, "Again?" | |
Joke by hellionfuck, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged man , dollar , screw , private , town - Current Score: 29 - Added: 7 months, 29 days ago
| "Goody immediately flew back to the U.K. to start treatment, and admits medics told her that without emergency surgery, she would only have months to live." If only she'd have been on the fuckin' NHS! | |
Joke by Duplicate, in Illness and mortality > NHS - Tagged jade goody , private , nhs - Current Score: 5 - Added: 2 months, 30 days ago
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