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| A professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe. He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, maths and science. One day the wife of the tribe's chief gives birth to a white child. The tribe is shocked, and the chief pulls the professor aside and says, "Look here! You're the only white man we've ever seen and this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn't take a genius to figure out what happened!" The professor replied, "No, Chief. You're mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence, what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look at that field over there. All of the sheep are white except for one black one. Nature does this on occasion." The chief was silent for a moment, then said, "Tell you what. You don't say anything more about that sheep and I won't say anything more about that white child." |    |
Joke by sick puppy, in Sex and shit > Bestiality - Tagged tribe , professor , sheep , albino - Current Score: 353 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| A student visits their professor's office. She glances down the hall, closes his door and kneels pleadingly. "I would do anything to pass this exam." She leans closer to him, flips back her hair and gazes meaningfully into his eyes. "I mean..." she whispers, "I would do ...anything." He returns her gaze. "Anything?" "Anything." His voice softens. "Anything?!" "Absolutely anything." His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you... revise?" | |
Joke by dandan, in Jokes with no home > Exams - Tagged revision , exam , professor , sexual favour , the life of david gale - Current Score: 310 - Added: 2 months ago
| A professor was asked to give a talk on 'sex'. When his turn came, he stood, walked to the podium, adjusted the microphone and said, "Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure . . ." And sat back down. | |
Joke by staffer, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged pleasure , professor , podium - Current Score: 89 - Added: 3 months, 30 days ago
| A Professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him. When the class began, wordlessly, he picked up a very large and empty mayonnaise jar and proceeded to fill it with golf balls. He then asked the students if the jar was full. They agreed that it was. So the Professor then picked up a box of pebbles and poured them into the jar. He shook the jar lightly. The pebbles rolled into the open areas between the golf balls. He then asked the students again if the jar was full. They agreed it was. The Professor next picked up a box of sand and poured it into the jar. Of course, the sand filled up everything else. He asked once more if the jar was full. The students responded with an unanimous "Yes." The Professor then produced two cans of beer from under the table and poured the entire contents into the jar, effectively filling the empty space between the sand. The students laughed. "Now," said the Professor, as the laughter subsided, "I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things - your family, your children, your health, your friends, your favourite passions - things that if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house, your car. The sand is everything else - the small stuff." "If you put the sand into the jar first", he continued, "there is no room for the pebbles or the golf balls. The same goes for life. If you spend all your time and energy on the small stuff, you will never have room for the things that are important to you. Pay attention to the things that are critical to your happiness. Play with your children. Take time to get medical check-ups. Take your partner out to dinner. Play another 18. There will always be time to clean the house, and fix the disposal. Take care of the golf balls first, the things that really matter. Set your priorities. The rest is just sand." When he had finished, there was a profound silence. Then one of the students raised her hand and with a puzzled expression, inquired what the beer represented. The Professor smiled. "I'm glad you asked. It just goes to show you that no matter how full your life may seem, there's always room for a couple of beers." | |
Joke by jokeywokey, in Jokes with no home > Advice - Tagged beer , professor - Current Score: 39 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| An eccentric philosophy professor gave a one question final exam after a semester dealing with a broad array of topics. The class was already seated and ready to go when the professor picked up his chair, plopped it on his desk and wrote on the board: "Using everything we have learned this semester, prove that this chair does not exist." Fingers flew, erasers erased, notebooks were filled in furious fashion. Some students wrote over 30 pages in one hour attempting to refute the existence of the chair. One member of the class however, was up and finished in less than a minute. Weeks later when the grades were posted, the rest of the group wondered how he could have gotten an A when he had barely written anything at all. His answer consisted of two words: "What chair?" | |
Joke by nassi, in Jokes with no home > Philosophy - Tagged university , college , exam , philosophy , professor - Current Score: 12 - Added: 6 months ago
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