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| An Irish daughter had not been home for over 5 years. Upon her return, her father cursed her. Where have ye been all this time? Why did ye not write to us, not even a line? Why didn't ye call? Can ye not understand what ye put yer old mum thru? The girl, crying, replied, "Sniff, sniff....dad....I became a prostitute...." "Ye what!!? Out of here, ye shameless harlot! Sinner! You're a disgrace to this family." "OK, dad-- as ye wish. I just came back to give mum this luxurious fur coat, title deed to a ten bedroom mansion plus a savings certificate for £5 million." "For me little brother, this gold Rolex and for ye daddy, the sparkling new Mercedes limited edition convertible that's parked outside plus a membership to the country club....(takes a breath)....and an invitation for ye all to spend New Years' Eve on board my new yacht in the Riviera, and...." Now what was it ye said ye had become?" says dad. Girl, crying again, "Sniff, sniff....a prostitute dad! Sniff, sniff. "Oh! Be Jesus! Ye scared me half to death, girl! I thought ye said a Protestant. Come here and give yer old man a hug!" |    |
Joke by sick puppy, in Religion and racism > Catholicism - Tagged prostitute , catholic , protestant - Current Score: 127 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| I was walking across a bridge one day, and I saw a man standing on the edge, about to jump. I ran over and said: "Stop. Don't do it." "Why shouldn't I?" he asked. "Well, there's so much to live for!" "Like what?" "Are you religious?" He said: "Yes." I said: "Me too. Are you Christian or Buddhist?" "Christian." "Me too. Are you Catholic or Protestant?" "Protestant." "Me too. Are you Episcopalian or Baptist?" "Baptist." "Wow. Me too. Are you Baptist Church of God or Baptist Church of the Lord?" "Baptist Church of God." "Me too. Are you original Baptist Church of God, or are you Reformed Baptist Church of God?" "Reformed Baptist Church of God." "Me too. Are you Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1879, or Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915?" He said: "Reformed Baptist Church of God, Reformation of 1915." I said: "Die, heretic scum," and pushed him off. | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Christianity - Tagged emo phillips , christian , protestant , reformed , baptist , schism - Current Score: 52 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| A man is sitting in a pub in Ireland suddenly he feels a gun being pointed at his back. "Catholic or Protestant?" asks the voice. "Jew," replies the man, calmly. "Cor," replies the man with the gun, "I must be the luckiest Arab in Ireland!" | |
Joke by doubletee, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged ireland , gun , arab , catholic , protestant - Current Score: 34 - Added: 6 months ago
| Connor O'Brien was dying. 'Sister' he said, 'call the vicar'. 'Don't you wan't a priest?' 'No, I want to become a protestant' said O'Brien. 'Better one of those bastards die instead of a good Catholic'. | |
Joke by fatshit, in Religion and racism > Christianity - Tagged catholic , protestant , irish - Current Score: 20 - Added: 1 week ago
| What's the difference between an apple and an orange. You don't hear of too many apple bastards. | |
Joke by drumchapelbhoy, in Jokes with no home > Rangers - Tagged sectarian , protestant , apple , orange , rangers , loyalists - Current Score: 4 - Added: 4 months ago
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