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| The other day someone left a piece of plasticine in my house. I didn't know what to make of it. |    |
Joke by Nangleberry Keen, in Jokes with no home > Puns - Tagged plasticine , pun , tim vine - Current Score: 125 - Added: 10 months ago
| Two paedophiles are on a cruise when one falls overboard. "Help! Help! I'm drowning! Someone throw me a buoy!" The other turns to the passengers surrounding him and says "Thats my mate - game to the end!" | |
Joke by djh001, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged paedophile , cruise , buoy , pun - Current Score: 112 - Added: 2 months ago
| I was chatting to a mate in the pub- who loves jokes- and I was telling him a little story. So I began my tale: "I went to see a Gypsy fortune teller the other day, who put me in touch with me dead grandfather. After we had finished and I had paid her, she smiled at me and in a jolly voice said she had really enjoy the session- So I smacked her in the face!" My smartarse mate chipped in, "Ha ha- Thats becase you LIKE TO STRIKE A HAPPY MEDIUM isn't it!" I replied, "No, its because I can't fucking stand gypsies." | |
Joke by twayne, in Religion and racism > Gypsy - Tagged gypsy , pun , peter cook , dudley moore , punch , hit , strike , fight - Current Score: 105 - Added: 2 months ago
| Two oranges walk into a pub. One says to the other, "Your round". The other orange replies, "So are you, you fat cunt". | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Drinking Jokes - Tagged oranges , pub , pun , fat , orange , insult , bar , cunt - Current Score: 94 - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago
| The other day, in the park, I was wondering why frisbees look bigger and bigger as they get closer to you. And then it hit me. | |
Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Wordplay - Tagged frisbee , pun , wordplay - Current Score: 56 - Added: 1 year ago
| I had a candlelit dinner the other night. Everything was really undercooked. | |
Joke by spaceman, in Jokes with no home > Puns - Tagged pun , dinner , candlelit , cooked , undercooked - Current Score: 40 - Added: 3 months, 14 days ago
| A boy who couldn't see, hear, smell, feel or taste punched me in the face yesterday. I told him there was no need for senseless violence. | |
Joke by sickboy91, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged one liner , pun , disabled , mortality , violence - Current Score: 32 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's allright now. | |
Joke by Nangleberry Keen, in Jokes with no home > Puns - Tagged pun - Current Score: 31 - Added: 10 months ago
| I have hereditary diarrhoea. It runs in my jeans... | |
Joke by the peter tobin fan club, in Illness and mortality > Disease - Tagged diarrhoea , pun , the peter tobin fan club - Current Score: 25 - Added: 5 months ago
| What are the worst things about being an egg? You only get laid once, you only get eaten once, you only get hard once, you come in a box with five other guys and only your mother sits on your face. | |
Joke by spanner, in Sex and shit > Mummy Mummy - Tagged egg , pun - Current Score: 25 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
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