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| Snow white, Tom Thumb and Quasimodo are sitting in a pub with their mates. Snow white says "There's no doubt about it, I'm the fairest in the land" Tom thumb says "There's no doubt about it, I'm the smallest in the land" Quasimodo says "There's no doubt about it, I'm the ugliest in the land" Their mates tell them to prove it by going to the magic all-knowing mirror, and the three head off. A few minutes later, the door of the pub bursts open and Snow White runs in and says "Its official...I'm the fairest in the land!" Shortly afterwards, the door again bursts open and Tom Thumb runs in and shouts "Its official...I'm the smallest in the land!" Five minutes later, the door gets kicked in and Quasimodo storms in and bellows "Who the fuck is Jade Goody?" |    |
Joke by cooperman, in Celebrity and news events > Jade Goody - Tagged fairytales , snow white , mirror , quasimodo , tom thumb , jade goody - Current Score: 135 - Added: 1 year ago
| Quasimodo walks into a bar, strolls straight up to the barman and says "I'll have a whiskey please." The barman says "Bells alright?" Quasi replies "Mind your own fucking business." | |
Joke by ghost, in Jokes with no home > Quasimodo - Tagged quasimodo , bells , bar , whiskey , barman - Current Score: 51 - Added: 4 months ago
| Quasimodo comes down from his bell tower after many years. He keeps a low profile in the shadows of the Notre Dame's town square and thinks to himself, "it's been years I've been up in that bell tower. I could do with a bloody good shag." So off he goes to the whorehouse in a back street and asks the madam on the door, "I've been up in that bell tower for many years and I could do with a bloody good shag." The madam says, "well, you've come to the right place, the black lady through the door to the right is fifteen francs." "Ah," says Quasi, "I'm afraid I only have ten francs." "Well, for ten francs you get the white lady through the door to the left." So he pays his money, goes through the left door and comes out again moments later, completely satisfied. Several years later, after being up in the bell tower for many years, he comes down through the shadows in to the town centre. "You know what?" he thought to himself "I could do with a bloody good shag, and this time I have 15 pounds." So off he goes to the same whorehouse he went to years previous. On his way there, he spots a young boy, hideously disfigured with a hunch on his back, dragging one of his feet behind him. Quasi goes to the boy and says to him, "excuse me, young man, how old are you?" "I'm nearly 5 now," says the boy, as he looks up to Quasimodo. "Excuse me," says the young boy, "is it possible you could be my father?" "I suppose so, it was around 5 years ago I last came down from my bell tower." "How could you do this to me, father? Look at me: I'm hideous, I have a lame leg, I have a hunch and all the people point and shout names at me. How could you bring such a creature in to the world?" "Well, thank your lucky stars, son. If I had another five francs, you'd have been black as well." | |
Joke by vulga, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged quasimodo , hunchback , black , racist , whore , prostitute , bell tower - Current Score: 47 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Quasimodo is lying on the ground in front of Notre Dame. He's bleeding everywhere, got broken legs and broken arms. He looks up at the Bell Tower and sees Esmeralda looking down at him. He shouts up "YOU FUCKING BITCH!!! Thats NOT what I meant when I said toss me off!!!" | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged quasimodo , toss off - Current Score: 29 - Added: 9 months ago
| Quasimodo Ran up to Esmerelda and Kicked her in the cunt as hard as he could and shouted "that's for having an affair." In a ball on the floor blood streaming out of her twat she whimpered "what makes you think i'm having an affair?" Quasi replied "I have a hunch." | |
Joke by el.hannen, in Jokes with no home > Quasimodo - Tagged quasimodo , cunt - Current Score: 19 - Added: 1 month ago
| Quasimodo is in the kitchen when his mother walks in carrying a wok. The hunchback grunts, "great, I love Chinese food." His mother says, "Chinese food? No, son. I'm using this thing to iron your shirts!" | |
Joke by vasocam, in Jokes with no home > Quasimodo - Tagged quasimodo , chinese food - Current Score: 6 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
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