Sorted by: Highest Scoring | Lowest Scoring | Newest | Oldest
Showing all jokes.
| I just ended a long-term relationship today. I'm not too bothered, it wasn't mine. |    |
Joke by slider1874, in Sex and shit > Relationships - Tagged relationship , longterm , jim jeffries , girlfriend - Current Score: 1033 - Added: 3 months, 26 days ago
| Statistics say women think they are smarter than men because they can fake orgasms for the relationship. Men say, "Big fucking deal, try faking a relationship just for the shag!" | |
Joke by BarneyBoy, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged relationship , fake orgasm , shag - Current Score: 642 - Added: 4 months ago
| Dear Susan, I am writing to tell you that our relationship must end, I am not the man you think I am. For a long time I have been sexually attracted to your sister.On several occasions I have had sex with her and I know you will find this unbearable. What is probably worse than sleeping with your sister is the fact that I have also been having a sexual relationship with your mother. Add this to the fact that, after a drunken night out, I had anal sex with your brother, you will now see what a terrible person I am. One final confession susan. Shortly after I started a sexual relationship with you, your father started pestering me for sex and yes I gave in to him. And so Susan you must now see why I must end our relationship. I know this is all a shock but it is better out in the open. I am so very sorry if I've hurt you,I never meant to. Your loving brother, David xxx | |
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Incest - Tagged letter , relationship , man , sister , sex , mother , confession , drunk , father , brother , family - Current Score: 137 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| My girlfriend said she wanted to have a serious talk to me about our relationship. We had a nice meal and some wine and then she started. "I think we need to decide in what direction our relationship is going." "I feel we are at a crossroads: one path leads to hardship and commitment but, ultimately, to happiness and joy; the other, well, it just leads to a dead end." She paused. "So what do you say?" I thought about it for a while and then replied, "That's not a crossroads, you silly cow, that's a T-Junction" | |
Joke by zip, in Jokes with no home > Jimmy Carr - Tagged girlfriend , relationship , driving , bad drivers - Current Score: 130 - Added: 9 months ago
| I read in a magazine that it is a good thing in a relationship to keep a few secrets. I have plenty - Sarah, Joanne, Amy, Louise.... | |
Joke by albinobob123, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged girlfriends , adultery , cheating , secrets , relationship - Current Score: 55 - Added: 4 months, 23 days ago
| Today my girlfriend asked me, "Where is this relationship going?" I replied with, "Upstairs." | |
Joke by doubletee, in Sex and shit > Girlfriend - Tagged upstairs , relationship , girlfriend , bedroom , going - Current Score: 38 - Added: 3 months ago
| When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. When I was 16, I got a girlfriend, but there was no passion. So I decided I needed a passionate girl with a zest for life. In college, I dated a passionate girl, but she was too emotional. Everything was an emergency; she was a drama queen, cried all the time and threatened suicide. So I decided I needed a girl with stability. When I was 25, I found a very stable girl but she was boring. She was totally predictable and never got excited about anything. Life became so dull that I decided that I needed a girl with some excitement. When I was 28, I found an exciting girl, but I couldn't keep up with her. She rushed from one thing to another, never settling on anything. She did mad, impetuous things and made me miserable as often as she made me happy. She was great fun initially and very energetic, but directionless. So I decided to find a girl with some real ambition. When I turned 31, I found a smart ambitious girl with her feet planted firmly on the ground and married her. She was so ambitious that she divorced me and took everything I owned. I am now 40, and am looking for a woman with very big breasts. | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged woman , girl , relationship , passionate , girlfriend - Current Score: 27 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| HER SIDE OF THE STORY: He was in an odd mood when I got to the bar, I thought it might have been my fault because I was a bit late but he didn't say anything much about it. The conversation was quite slow going so I thought we should go off somewhere more intimate so we could talk more privately. We went to this restaurant and he was STILL acting a bit funny. I tried to cheer him up and started to wonder whether it was me or something else. I asked him, and he said no. But I wasn't really sure. So anyway, in the cab on the way back to his house, I said that I love him and he just put his arm around me. I didn't know what the hell that meant because you know he doesn't say it back or anything. We finally got back to his place and I was wondering if he was going to dump me! So I tried to ask him about it but he just switched on the TV. Reluctantly, I said I was going to go to sleep. Then after about 10 minutes, he joined me and we had sex. But, he still seemed really distracted, so afterwards I just wanted to leave but I just cried myself to sleep. I dunno, I just don't know what he thinks anymore. I mean, do you think he's met someone else??? HIS SIDE OF THE STORY: My team lost. Felt kinda tired. Got laid though. | |
Joke by nassi, in Sex and shit > Relationships - Tagged relationship , sex , confused - Current Score: 10 - Added: 6 months ago
| My Daughter and I have a really close relationship and she can get very emotional...sometimes when we're alone she gets a lump in her throat. | |
Joke by whogivesashit, in Sex and shit > Daughters - Tagged paedophile , incest , relationship , lump - Current Score: 7 - Added: 2 months ago
whysoserious got buried to -5. Reveal Joke
Showing all jokes.
Custurd spent 1.02ms doing 12 queries and 0.08s processing. She's 1.93% angry.
Sickipedia v2.7 - a cr3ative media® project. © '05-09 Rob Manuel