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| Going to war over religion is basically killing one another to see who's got the better imaginary friend... |    |
Joke by captain slow, in Illness and mortality > War - Tagged war , religion , imaginary - Current Score: 913 - Added: 7 months, 29 days ago
| Old Father O'Malley was strolling through the church grounds one sunny summer evening, when he came upon a little frog sitting by a tree. "My Lord," he said, picking it up: "You're the saddest, most forlorn-looking frog I've ever seen. I only wish you could speak, so that you might tell me your troubles." The frog replied, "Actually, I can. You see, I was once a choirboy in this very parish. One day I offended a passing Gypsy, and she put a curse on me that turned me into a talking frog." "Incredible!" said Father O'Malley. "Is there anything I might do to help you?" "Actually yes, there is. The Gypsy said that if I can find somebody to take me home and let me sleep in their bed, the curse will be lifted and I'll be back to normal." "Well," said Father O'Malley, "the good Lord teaches us to be charitable. I think I can manage that." So Father O'Malley picked up the little frog and put it in his pocket. That night he placed it gently on the pillow beside him and drifted off into a long, dreamy sleep. When he awoke the next morning, the frog had turned back into a choirboy, just as it had said it would. And that, Your Honour, is the case for the defence... | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged priest , paedo , religion , nonce , sex , frogs , faggot , homo , queer , bummer , yeahimtalkingtoyouasshole - Current Score: 584 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Apparently, the Popemobile has 3 inch thick bullet-proof glass. There's fucking faith for you. | |
Joke by lashley, in Religion and racism > Pope - Tagged pope , catholicism , catholic , religion , car , bill hicks - Current Score: 373 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| I was raised a Catholic, and the most annoying thing about going to church was all the standing up, sitting down, and kneeling. I wish the priest could've just picked a position and fucked me! | |
Joke by AS, in Religion and racism > Priest - Tagged priest , sex , fuck , catholic , jimmy carr , religion - Current Score: 306 - Added: 1 year ago
| A guy goes in an adult store and asks for an inflatable doll. The guy behind the counter says, "Male or female?" The customer says, "Female" The counter guy asks, "Black or white?" The customer says, "White" The counter guy asks, "Christian or Muslim?" The customer says, "What the hell does religion have to do with it?" The counter guy says, "The Muslim one blows itself up!" | |
Joke by caliban, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged muslim , doll , sex , shop , sex shop , dolls , blow up , blow , black , white , male , female , religion - Current Score: 256 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| There once was a religious young woman who went to Confession. Upon entering the confessional, she said, 'Forgive me, Father, for I have sinned.' The priest said, 'Confess your sins and be forgiven.' The young woman said, 'Last night my boyfriend made mad, passionate love to me seven times.' The priest thought long and hard and then said, 'Squeeze seven Lemons into a glass and then drink the juice.' The young woman asked, 'Will this cleanse me of my sins?' The priest said, 'No, but it will wipe that smile off of your Face | |
Joke by templett, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged confession , sex , religion - Current Score: 150 - Added: 1 year ago
| Every culture has its own holy book: Muslims have the Qur'an, Israelis/Jews have the Torah, Christians have the Bible and Niggers have the Jungle Book. | |
Joke by andeeest205, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged book , holy , religion - Current Score: 139 - Added: 11 months ago
| I missed a Jehovah's Witness at the front door this morning, which was a odd as I thought I had a clear shot | |
Joke by whogivesashit, in Religion and racism > Jehovahs Witness - Tagged religion , guns , jehovahs witness , shoot , door , odd - Current Score: 137 - Added: 2 months ago
| Give a man a fish, you'll feed him for a day. Give him a religion, and he'll starve to death while praying for a fish.(ricky gervais) | |
Joke by JKSLYR, in Religion and racism > Prayer - Tagged prayer , religion - Current Score: 131 - Added: 11 months ago
| Come to think of it, are Muslims allowed to keep a piggy bank? | |
Joke by 2ldmoe, in Religion and racism > Muslims - Tagged pig , religion , money - Current Score: 79 - Added: 5 days ago
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