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| A psychology student is conducting a survey to study the masturbatory habits of males. She approaches the first man and says, "Excuse me, sir, I'm conducting a survey and would like to know, what do you hold in your left hand while you masturbate?" To which the man replies, "A remote controller, for the DVD". She then approaches the second man, with the same question. He answers, "I've got a magazine", and she notes down his answer. She then approaches a third man and asks him what he holds while he masturbates, to which he answers, "A bar of soap". Bemused by this, she asks why. "I'm bathing the kids." |    |
Joke by caliban, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged paedophile , paedophilia , paedo , wank , masturbate , wanking , kids , kid , children , bath , bathing , soap , magazine , porn , hand , tv , dvd , remote , survey - Current Score: 344 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| He started by running his hand across her shoulders and the small of her back. He ran his hand over her breasts, touching them very lightly. Then, he proceeded to run his hand gently down her side, sliding his hand over her stomach, and then down the other side to a point below her waist. He continued on, gently feeling her hips, first one side and the other. His hand ran further down the outside of her thighs. His gentle stroking then started up the inside of her left thigh, stopped and then returned to do the same to her right thigh. By this time the woman was becoming aroused and she squirmed a little to better position herself. The man stopped abruptly and rolled over to his side of the bed. "Why are you stopping?" she whispered. He whispered back, "I found the remote." | |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Sex and shit > romance - Tagged romance , caress , love , remote - Current Score: 234 - Added: 9 months, 28 days ago
| I went on holiday last week and left my adopted black teenager, Malcolm, with my Grandad. Before I went, I gave him some advice: "make sure you always know where he is because, if you don't, it'll take you forever to find him again... like the TV remote!" I joked. When I came back, I found my Grandad with two black eyes, and a broken nose. "I did exactly what you said," my Grandad said, "treated him like the TV remote, but he got angry and attacked me." "Well, something must have provoked him," I said. "What exactly did you do?" He said, "I kept hitting him on the back because he wouldn't work." | |
Joke by albinobob123, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged black , work , remote , tv - Current Score: 44 - Added: 4 months ago
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