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| I once asked an american to spell 'Mississippi' He replied: 'Do you mean the river or the state?' |    |
Joke by DickWank, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged america , mississippi , state , river , fat yanks - Current Score: 136 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| A little boy is standing at the side of a river, crying. An elderly lady passes by and feels pity for him. "What is the matter, young boy? Why are you crying?" The boy sniffed, "My daddy drowned all four little kittens we had yesterday." "That's awful," the lady replied angrily. "Your father is a real bastard!" "I know," said the little boy. "He promised I could do it." | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Kids - Tagged kittens , drowned , promised , river - Current Score: 95 - Added: 2 months, 4 days ago
| Paul stood upon the grassy bank, His heart was all a-quiver, She took off her suspender belt, And her leg fell in the river. | |
Joke by Geoff the Clownfish, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged poem , heather mills , paul mccartney , beatles , leg , river - Current Score: 62 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Two blondes are walking on the opposite sides of the river. One blonde shouts to the other, "How do you get on the other side?" The other blonde replies, "You are on the other side." | |
Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > viagra - Tagged blonde , river - Current Score: 56 - Added: 1 year ago
| Just as a young man puts a large salmon, he's taken illegally from the river, into the boot of his car, a bailiff comes up and tries to arrest him for illegally fishing. The young fellow explains that he didn't catch the salmon, it's his pet salmon that he brings down everyday to the water to have a swim, and then takes him back home to his tank after his swim. The bailiff is pretty sceptical about the whole thing but the young fellow offers to show the official how he's trained the salmon and together they go down to the water, the young fellow tenderly places his fish into the water, where it swims off into the reeds. They both stand there a few minutes and then the bailiff turns and says, "so how long before he comes back?" And the young fellow says, "until who comes back?" | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Fish - Tagged bailiff , salmon , river , illegally - Current Score: 32 - Added: 2 months, 6 days ago
| A drunk staggers through the countryside and stumbles on a Christian congregation carrying out a baptism service in the local river. The priest, on seeing the drunk, asks, "have you come to find Jesus, brother?" "Shurrrrre havvve," says the drunk. So the priest grabs the drunk and ducks him under the water, after a few seconds he pulls him up and says, "Have you found Jesus?" "Huuuurrm NO!" replied the drunk. So the priest ducked him again. "Have you found Jesus"? "Huuuurrm NO!" replied the drunk. So the priest ducked him again, this time until the drunk was blue in the face. "For God's sake, have you found Jesus, brother?" "Huuuurrm NO!" replied the drunk. "Are you sure this is where he fell in?" | |
Joke by scol77, in Religion and racism > Jesus - Tagged drunk , river , religion , alcohol - Current Score: 26 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| I leave some girls speechless after sex. I leave others in the river, the park and boot of my car. | |
Joke by max the storyteller, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged rape , river , park - Current Score: 16 - Added: 1 month, 24 days ago
| Blonde is walking one side of the river and sees another blonde on the opposite bank and says "Hey, how do I get to the other side?" The other blonde replies: "What the fuck are you talking about? You ARE on the other side!!" | |
Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > viagra - Tagged blonde , walking , river - Current Score: 6 - Added: 8 months, 5 days ago
| My girlfriend said to me, "You could at least wait until I get wet before you fuck me!" So I threw her in the river. | |
Joke by JesusWasABastard, in Sex and shit > Sexist - Tagged river , water , sex - Current Score: 1 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| One day this guy meets this girl and he asks her if she wants to go on a boat ride with him... Sure she replies.. They get to this crossing in the river and he says "Up or down!" She rips off all her clothes and they have fast rough sex! The next day they come to the same point and happily he says "Up or down?" Again she strips and they have sex! Then the next day they come to the same point in the river and the guy says "Up or down?" "Up" she replies He sits there and waits..."Well aren't we gonna have sex?" "OH no...I have my hearing aid turned up now, last time I though you said Fuck or Drown!" | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged sex , rough , fast , river , crossing , ride , boat - Current Score: 0 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
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