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| A virile, middle-aged Italian gentlemen named Guido was relaxing at his favourite bar in Rome when he managed to attract a spectacular young blonde woman. Things progressed to the point where he led her back to his apartment and, after some small talk, they retired to his bedroom where he rattled her senseless. After a pleasant interlude, he asked with a smile, "So, you finish?" She paused for a second, frowned, and replied, "No." Surprised, Guido reached for her and the rattling resumed. This time she thrashed about wildly and there were screams of passion. The sex finally ended and, again, Guido smiled and asked, "You finish?" Again, after a short pause, she returned his smile, cuddled closer to him and softly said, "No." Stunned, but damned if he was going to leave this woman unsatisfied, Guido reached for the woman yet again. Using the last of his strength, he barely managed it, but they ended together screaming, bucking, clawing and ripping the bed sheets. Exhausted, Guido fell onto his back, gasping. Barely able to turn his head, he looked into her eyes, smiled proudly and asked again, "You finish?" Barely able to speak, the beautiful blonde whispered in his ear, "No, I'm Norwegian." |    |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged rome , italian , fin , norwegian , sex , passion - Current Score: 147 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Julius Caesar was addressing the crowd in the Coliseum. "Friends, Romans and Countrymen, lend me your ears. Tomorrow I take our glorious army to conquer Northern Europe and I shall start with France. We shall kill many Gauls and return victorious." The crowd are up on their feet "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar" Brutus turns to his mate and says " He doesn't half talk some shite eh? He couldn't fight his way out of a wet parchment bag." Six months later, Caesar comes back having conquered France and addresses the crowd in the Coliseum. " Friends, Romans and Countrymen, I have returned from our campaign in France and as I promised, we killed 50,000 Gauls". The crowd is up on their feet again. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar". Brutus once again turns to his mate "I'm sick of his bull-shit, I'm off to France to check this out." So Brutus sets of for France and three weeks later he comes back to Rome. Caesar is addressing the public in the Coliseum again "Friends, Romans and Countrymen, tomorrow we set off for Britain and we are going to sort those bastards out" The crowd is up on their feet. "Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeees, hail mighty Caesar" Brutus jumps up and shouts, "Caesar, you are a liar. You told us that you had killed 50,000 Gauls in France but I've been there to check it out and you only killed 25,000!!!!" The crowd is stunned and all sit down in silence. Caesar gets up and looks slowly round the Coliseum then across at Brutus and says, "Brutus, you are forgetting one thing... Away Gauls count double in Europe." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Illness and mortality > Caesar - Tagged caesar , brutus , france , britain , romans , rome , football rules - Current Score: 51 - Added: 8 months, 26 days ago
| Mrs Donovan was walking down O'Connell street in Dublin when she met up with Father Flaherty. The Father said, "Top o' the mornin' to ye! Aren't ye Mrs Donovan and didn't I marry ye and yer hoosband two years ago?" She replied, "Aye, that ye did,Father." The Father asked, "And be there any wee little ones yet?" She replied, "No, not yet, Father." The Father said, "Well now, I'm going to Rome next week and I'll light a candle for ye and yer hoosband." She replied, "Oh, thank ye, Father." They then parted ways. Some years later they met again. The Father asks, "Well now, Mrs Donovan, how are ye these days?" She replied, "Oh, very well, Father!" The Father asked, "And, tell me, have ye any wee ones yet?" She replied, "Oh yes, Father! Three sets of twins and four singles,ten in all!" The Father said, "That's wonderful! How is yer hoosband doing?" She replied, "E's gone to Rome to blow out yer fookin' candle." | |
Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Sex and shit > Kids - Tagged donovan , father , irish , rome - Current Score: 38 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| My old man used to say "When in Rome do as the Romans do..." That was just before he got locked up in an Italian prison for murdering 20,000 Christians. | |
Joke by smithy08, in Jokes with no home > Robin Hood - Tagged rome , lee mack - Current Score: 5 - Added: 1 week ago
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