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| At Wayne Rooney and Coleen McLoughlin's wedding last week, I'm told all guests were searched for mobile phones and cameras. Nothing to do with them selling the pictures to the magazines, just what Scousers do. |    |
Joke by jay-cee, in Celebrity and news events > Wayne Rooney - Tagged rooney , mcloughlin , wedding , scousers , fart - Current Score: 111 - Added: 2 months ago
| At a recent England football training camp, Wayne Rooney collects the ball and dribbles around Shaun Wright-Phillips, Rio Ferdinand, Micah Richards, Ashley Cole and finally Emile Heskey. Steve McClaren shouts: "Around the fucking CONES Wayne, the fucking CONES" | |
Joke by gangrath, in Celebrity and news events > Wayne Rooney - Tagged rooney , heskey , wright-phillips , ferdinand , mcclaren - Current Score: 77 - Added: 10 months ago
| Wayne Rooney is pleased to announce that he's signed up for a five book deal.........That's an awful lot of crayons he's gonna get through. | |
Joke by CUTTSY, in Celebrity and news events > Wayne Rooney - Tagged wayne , rooney , crayons - Current Score: 38 - Added: 5 months ago
| This woman is walking past a brothel, when she notices a sign which reads Celebrity Sex Wayne Rooney £500 per night Andrew flintoff £700 per night Father Christmas £2000 per night so she goes in to enquire about the price list, the manager tells her that the reason wayne rooney is so cheap is because he 'dribbles before he shoots', and the reason that andrew flintoff is cheap is because 'once he's in , you can't get him out' , then she asks " why is father christmas so expensive?", and the manager says " well , he only comes once a year , but he'll fill yer fucking stockings" | |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Brothel - Tagged brothel , rooney , flintoff , father christmas , stockings , cheap , expensive , price , dribbles , shoots - Current Score: 34 - Added: 9 months ago
| Good to see Coleen McLoughlin got her fairytale wedding after all, she arrived in an onion Carriage and married Shrek. | |
Joke by eviltorry, in Celebrity and news events > Wayne Rooney - Tagged shrek , rooney - Current Score: 21 - Added: 2 months ago
| It is just before Scotland v England in the World Cup Group game. Rooney goes into the English changing room to find all his team mates looking a bit glum. "What's up?" he asks. "Well, we're having trouble getting motivated for this game. We know it's important but it's only Scotland. They're shite and we can't be bothered". Rooney looks at them and says "Well, I reckon I can beat these by myself, you lads go down the pub." So Rooney goes out to play Scotland by himself and the rest of the English team go off for a few pints. After a few jars they wonder how the game is going, so they get the landlord to put the teletext on. A big cheer goes up as the screen reads "England 1 - Scotland 0 (Rooney 10minutes)". He is beating Scotland all by himself! Anyway, a few more pints later and the game is forgotten until someone remembers "It must be full time now, let's see how he got on". They put the teletext on. "Result from the Stadium "England 1 (Rooney 10 minutes) - Scotland 1"(Angus McShagnasty 89 minutes)". They can't believe it, he has single handedly got a draw against Scotland!! They rush back to the Stadium to congratulate him. They find him in the dressing room, still in his gear, sat with his head in his hands. He refuses to look at them. "I've let you down, I've let you down." "Don't be daft, you got a draw against Scotland , all by yourself. And they only scored at the very very end" "No, No, I have, I've let you down... I got sent off after 12 minutes" | |
Joke by mickle, in Religion and racism > Scottish - Tagged football , rooney , england , bar - Current Score: 17 - Added: 10 months ago
| A young lad was kicking a coke can down the street shouting "fucking great goal rooney" bollocks owen missed again" etc, a priest passing by overheard the bad laguage and stopped the lad ,he said "please stop your swearing son", the boy said "why,what's wrong with it ,nobody can hear me", the priest said "that's where you're wrong son, god can hear you,"so where is god then",asked the boy, the priest replied "god is everywhere", what "said the lad you mean to say god is in my house?",yes was the reply, "and god is in our garage"? absolutely", the lad scratched his head and said" so god is even in my dad's car"? ,yes said the priest ,he is," the lad paused for a moment and then said" you fucking liar, my dad hasn't got a fucking car". | |
Joke by GIZZARD, in Jokes with no home > Kids - Tagged boy , car , priest , god , rooney , owen , liar - Current Score: 12 - Added: 5 months ago
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