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Browsing tag: rooster
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A farmer goes out one day and buys a brand new stud rooster for his chicken coop.

The rooster struts over to the old rooster and says, "Beat it! You're washed up and I'm taking over."

The old rooster says "I'll tell you what, young stud, I'll race you around the farmhouse. Whoever wins gets exclusive domain over the entire chicken coop. But since I am so old I need a 5 second head start."

The young rooster laughs, "You don't stand a chance."

So the old rooster takes off running and about 5 seconds later the young rooster takes off after him. They round the front of the farmhouse and the young rooster is closing the gap.

The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting on the front porch when he sees his new stud rooster running behind his old rooster.

The farmer shoots the new rooster and sadly shakes his head, "Dam...third gay rooster I've bought this month."
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Joke by bigbenontour, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged farm , rooster , gay  - Current Score: 109 - Added: 2 months ago

A farmer buys a young rooster to impregnate his chickens. The young rooster struts into the barn and yells to the old rooster, “Get out, old man! This is my barn now!”
“Tell you what,” says the old rooster. “I’ll race you around the farm; winner gets all the chicks.”

The old rooster takes off toward the front of the house with the young rooster chasing him. The farmer takes one look at the roosters, pulls out his shotgun, and blows the young one away.

“Darn it,” says the farmer. “That’s the third gay rooster I’ve bought this month!”
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Joke by McLOVIN, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged chickens , gay , man , farmer , shotgun , young , house , rooster  - Current Score: 62 - Added: 1 year ago

A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a cloud of feathers.
Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and rang the doorbell. A farmer appeared. The man somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him."
"Suit yourself," the farmer replied, "the hens are round the back!"
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Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Bestiality - Tagged rooster , bestiality , car , hens  - Current Score: 34 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

A farmer wanted to have his hens serviced, so he went to the market looking for a rooster. He was hoping he could get a special rooster - one that would service all of his many hens. When he told this to the market vendor, the vendor replied, "I have just the rooster for you. Henry here is the horniest rooster you will ever see!"

So the farmer took Henry back to the farm. Before setting him loose in the hen house, though, he gave Henry a little pep talk. "Henry," he said, "I'm counting on you to do your stuff."

And without a word, Henry strutted into the henhouse.

Henry was as fast as he was furious, mounting each hen like a thunderbolt. There was much squawking and many feathers flying, until Henry had finished having his way with each hen. But Henry didn't stop there. Henry went into the barn and mounted all of the horses, one by one, and still at the same frantic pace.

Then he went to the pig house, where he did the same.

The farmer, watching all of this with disbelief cried out, "Stop, Henry! You'll kill yourself!"

But Henry continued, seeking out each farm animal in the same manner.

Well, the next morning, the farmer looked out and saw Henry lying there on his lawn. His legs were up in the air, his eyes rolled back, and his long tongue hanging out. A vulture was already circling above Henry.

The farmer walked up to Henry saying, "Oh you poor thing, look what you did, you've gone and killed yourself. I warned you little buddy."

"Shhhhhhh," Henry whispered, "the vulture's getting closer."

(Jasper Carrot - "Bantam Cock"...and of course his was set to a tune, which makes it better)
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Joke by ged, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged rooster , farmer , horny , vulture , jasper carrott , bantam cock  - Current Score: 29 - Added: 2 months ago

What came first, the chicken or the egg?

...Neither.

No-one came until the rooster did.
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Joke by oshii, in Jokes with no home > Chickens - Tagged chicken , rooster , egg , cum  - Current Score: 21 - Added: 1 month, 28 days ago

One day a farmer bought a prize example of a rooster to service all his chickens.
"He's a sex machine," said the auctioneer, "He will give all your chickens a good seeing to!"
Anyway the farmer took the rooster back to his farm and the effect was instant. The rooster jumped out of the box, ran over to the chicken house and screwed all the chickens in the coop.
Shocked, the farmer grabbed the rooster and said, "Whoa, boy, you'll wear yourself out and there are still more chickens left in the other henhouse!"
As soon as the farmer let go of the rooster it ran off again, this time to the other henhouse, and again starts pumping away at all the chickens.
Then, finishing them off, the rooster ran up to a flock of geese and fucked all of them too, and to the amazement of the farmer, the rooster ran over to a herd of cows and shagged them all as well.
Within hours the rooster had screwed over half the animals on the farm and the farmer, himself very tired trying to catch the rooster, decided to go to bed, sure that the rooster would be dead by the morning.
Sure enough the next morning the farmer found the rooster lying dead on the front porch.
"You stupid fucking bird!" cried the farmer, "I told you to pace yourself and you just wouldn't listen!"
As the buzzards began circling overhead the rooster suddenly opened one eye and said, "Shhhh...they're getting closer!"
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Joke by the phantom phucker, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged rooster , sex machine , chicken , cow , buzzard  - Current Score: 15 - Added: 9 months ago

What do you get when you cross an Owl and a Rooster?

A cock that stays up all night.
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Joke by bastowbastow, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged owl , rooster , cock  - Current Score: 3 - Added: 11 months ago

What do you get when you cross a rooster with a jar of peanut butter?


A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth.
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Joke by poosmellsyucky, in Jokes with no home > Animals - Tagged rooster , peanut butter , cock  - Current Score: 1 - Added: 1 year ago

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