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Browsing tag: scientist
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Two builders go into the pub after a hard day's work. They're sat drinking for a while when a very smartly dressed man walks in and orders a drink. The two began to speculate about what the man did for a living.
"I'll bet he's an accountant." said the first builder.
"Looks more like a stockbroker to me." argued the second. They continued to debate the subject for a good while until eventually the first builder needed to use the toilet. On walking in, he saw the smartly dressed man standing at a urinal.
"Excuse me mate, but me and my friend have been arguing over what a smartly dressed fella like you does for a living?" the builder said to the man.
Smiling the man replied, "I'm a logical scientist."
"A what?" asked the builder.
"Let me explain" the man continued, "Do you have a goldfish at home?"
A bit puzzled, but intrigued the builder decided to play along, "Yes, I do as it happens."
"Well then it's logical to assume that you either keep it in a bowl or a pond. Which is it?"
"A pond" the builder replied.
"Well then it's logical to assume that you have a large garden." The builder nodded his agreement. So the man continued, "which means it's logical to assume you have a large house."
"I have a 6 bedroom house that I built myself." the builder said proudly.
"Given that you have such a large house, it's logical to assume that you are married..."
The builder nodded again, "Yes, I'm married and we have three children."
"Then it's logical to assume that you have a healthy sex life."
"Five nights a week!" the builder boasted.
The man smiled a little, "Therefore it's logical to assume you don't masturbate often."
"Never!" the builder exclaimed.
"Well there you have it" the man explained, "That's logical science at work. From finding out that you have a goldfish, I've discovered the size of your garden, all about your house, your family and your sex life!"
The builder left, very impressed by the man's talents. On returning to the bar the other builder asked, "I see that smart bloke was in there, did you find out what he does?"
"Yeah," replied the first, "He's a logical scientist."
"A what?" the puzzled second builder asked.
"Let me explain" the first builder continued, "Do you have a goldfish at home?"
"No" replied his mate.
"Well, you're a wanker then!"
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Joke by the phantom phucker, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged bar , builder , logical , scientist , wanker  - Current Score: 239 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

A top British scientist has invented a bra that stops tits bobbing up and down and nipples from sticking out in the cold.

His colleagues have kicked his fucking head in!
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Joke by Katherine Boyle, in Sex and shit > Tits - Tagged bra , scientist , tits  - Current Score: 195 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago

How come you hear about scientists being praised for 'beating Alzheimer's' but when I do it I get two years in Parkhurst?I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by rs79, in Illness and mortality > Alzheimers - Tagged scientist , prison , beating , alzheimers  - Current Score: 50 - Added: 4 months, 2 days ago

Scientists have discovered that the average tit weighs 1.5kg, but they cannot work out the average weight of a cunt.

So if you could pop on the scales and ring me back.
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Joke by Rexton, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged insult , tit , boob , breast , tits , boobs , breats , weight , average , cunt , weigh , call , ring , scientist , scientists  - Current Score: 17 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago

A scientists demonstration.

WHAT DO WE WANT?

TIME TRAVEL!

WHEN DO WE WANT IT?

THEN!!!
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Joke by Guest, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged scientist , demonstration , time travel  - Current Score: 9 - Added: 7 months, 21 days ago

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