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| We've just heard that scientists have discovered a meteor heading towards Earth. They have calculated that it will strike the U.S.A. at around 2:00am tomorrow. It will completely wipe the U.S.A. from the face of the earth. We in Britain are faced with a terrible dilemma: should we stay up and watch it live on TV, or record it and watch it after breakfast? |    |
Joke by mickle, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged scientists , usa , meteor , dilemma - Current Score: 135 - Added: 5 months, 12 days ago
| Scientists in Sweden have announced that they have found the longest hair on the human body, it runs from your arse to your eyelash. Oh come on! It doesn't take a bloody scientist to figure that out, everyone knows that if you pull a hair out of your arse, it makes your fuckin' eyes water. | |
Joke by pornstar, in Jokes with no home > Science - Tagged arse , hair , lash , scientists , sweden , eyes , water - Current Score: 49 - Added: 1 month, 17 days ago
| Scientists have just announced plans to try and cross a scouser with a chav. But they don't think it will ever work. | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged scouser , chav , scientists - Current Score: 29 - Added: 3 months, 22 days ago
| Scientists at Rolls Royce built a gun specifically to launch dead chickens at the engines of airliners and military jets, all travelling at maximum velocity. The idea was to simulate the frequent incidents of collisions with airborne fowl to test the containment and strength of the engines. American engineers heard about the gun and were eager to test it on the engines of their aircraft. Arrangements were made and a gun was sent to the American engineers. When the gun was fired, the engineers watched in shock as the chicken hurled out of the barrel, crashed into the compressor face, smashed it to smithereens, totally destroying the engine. The horrified Americans sent Rolls Royce the film of the disastrous results of the experiment, and begged the British engineers for suggestions. Rolls Royce responded with a one-line memo: Defrost the chicken. | |
Joke by mickle, in Religion and racism > Americans - Tagged scientists , rolls royce , engineers , dead , chickens , mjc - Current Score: 26 - Added: 5 months, 26 days ago
| I see scientists have developed a pill that can give a woman an orgasm... It's got no special ingredients, it's just made of chocolate and is shaped like a shoe. | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Sex and shit > Orgasm - Tagged orgasm , women , shoe , chocolate , pill , scientists - Current Score: 25 - Added: 3 months, 22 days ago
| In the news, scientists are saying premature ejaculation is genetic. It's true, I had premature ejaculation in my genes about ten minutes ago. | |
Joke by Peter_G, in Sex and shit > Premature Ejaculation - Tagged premature ejaculation , true , genetic , scientists - Current Score: 23 - Added: 1 month, 26 days ago
| Scientists say a really bad sense of smell may be the first symptom of Alzheimer's but don't confuse this with a sense of smelling really bad, that's the first symptom that you're French. | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > French - Tagged scientists , smell , alzheimers , french - Current Score: 19 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| Scientists have discovered that the average tit weighs 1.5kg, but they cannot work out the average weight of a cunt. So if you could pop on the scales and ring me back. | |
Joke by Rexton, in Sex and shit > General - Tagged insult , tit , boob , breast , tits , boobs , breats , weight , average , cunt , weigh , call , ring , scientist , scientists - Current Score: 17 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Scientists have just built the World's biggest ever super collider and they're now doing an experiment to find out what makes up Protons. I hope that if the experiment is successful, the whole of our reality will dissolve and a big sign will come up saying, "Level 2". | |
Joke by barryh, in Celebrity and news events > Large Hadron Collider - Tagged scientists , hadron collider , frankie boyle - Current Score: 17 - Added: 1 month, 19 days ago
| Medical research scientists are struggling with coming up with new ideas on how to cure AIDS. It seems their biggest problem is they can't get their lab rats to butt-fuck | |
Joke by Cleveland, in Sex and shit > Gay - Tagged aids , gay , buttfuck , rats , scientists - Current Score: 15 - Added: 2 months ago
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