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| A girl comes across a drunken scotsman lying in a ditch. The scotsman is fast asleep and the girl decides to take a peek up his kilt to see if the stories are true.She looks,and discovers the stories really are true and that the scotsman is hauling a whopper. As a joke,she takes a blue ribbon out of her hair and ties it round the scotsmans todger. A few hours later,the scotsman wakes up with a hangover and a full bladder.He hitches up his kilt to have a piss and is surprised to see a blue ribbon tied around his dick. "Well laddie,"he says."I don't know where you've been,but i'm mightily pleased to see you won first prize." |    |
Joke by cooperman, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged scotland , scot , kilt , penis , hung , ribbon - Current Score: 45 - Added: 8 months ago
| Englishman, Irishman, Welshman and a Scot are captured by the Iraqis. The Iraq troop leader says.. "We're going to shoot you, but we will give you one last request" He says to the Welshman, "What's your last request?" The Welshman says .."I want a thousand Welshman singing 'Land of my Fathers" "OK, you've got it." "What about you?" he says to the Scotsman. "I want a thousand Scots pipers piping Scotland the brave" says the Scot. "you've got it" says the Iraqi. "What's your last request?" he says to the Irishman. "I want a thousand Irishman doing the riverdance" says Paddy. " It's yours" says the Iraqi" Turning to the Englishman, he says "and your last request?" The Englishman says.. "Fucking shoot me first". | |
Joke by CaesarLXV, in Religion and racism > Scottish - Tagged englishman , irishman , scot , iraqi , welshman , scotland - Current Score: 38 - Added: 1 year ago
| A Scotsman and an Englishman lived next door to each other. The Scotsman owned a hen and each morning he would look in his garden and pick up one of his hen's eggs for breakfast. One day he looked into his garden and saw that the hen had laid an egg in the Englishman's garden. He was about to go next door when he saw the Englishman pick up the egg. The Scotsman ran up to the Englishman and told him that the egg belonged to him because he owned the hen. The Englishman disagreed because the egg was laid on his property. They argued for a while until finally the Scotsman said, "In my family we normally solve disputes by the following actions: I kick you in the testicles and time how long it takes for you to get back up. Then you kick me in the testicles and time how long it takes for me to get up. Whoever gets up quicker wins the egg." The Englishman agreed to this and so the Scotsman put on the heaviest pair of boots he could find. He took a few steps back, then ran toward the Englishman and kicked him as hard as he could in the testicles. The Englishman fell to the floor clutching his groin, howling in agony for 30 minutes. Eventually the Englishman stood up and said, "Now it's my turn to kick you." The Scotsman smiled and said, "Ye can keep the damn egg!!" | |
Joke by jacko93, in Jokes with no home > Food - Tagged english , scot , testicles , egg , hen , argument - Current Score: 16 - Added: 11 months ago
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