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| A man walks into a bar and says to the barman "Line me up ten whiskies" So the barman lines them up and the man gulps them down one after another. "Jeez" says the barman "What are you celebrating then?". "My first blow job" replies the man. "Oh well" says the barman "for that I'll buy you one myself." "No thanks" says the man "If ten don't get rid of the taste, another one won't help!" |    |
Joke by sick puppy, in Sex and shit > Anti Men - Tagged blow job , sex , scotch - Current Score: 140 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Gary Glitter bought 100 cases of Glenfiddich Scotch Whisky today, because the salesmen told him it's a cheeky little 12 year old that goes down well. | |
Joke by eviltorry, in Celebrity and news events > Gary Glitter - Tagged gary glitter , scotch , paedo - Current Score: 99 - Added: 1 month ago
| A salesman knocks at the door of a home and it's answered by a 12 year old boy with a cigar in one hand and a half empty bottle of scotch in the other. The salesman asks the boy, "Excuse me son but is your mum or dad in?" To which the boy replies, "Does it fucking look like it?" | |
Joke by pdf1, in Jokes with no home > Kids - Tagged kid , scotch , cigar , salesman - Current Score: 82 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| The bartender asks the guy sitting at the bar, "What'll you have?" The guy answers, "A scotch, please." The bartender hands him the drink, and says "That'll be five dollars," The guy replies, "What are you talking about? I don't owe you anything for this." A lawyer, sitting nearby and overhearing the conversation, then says to the bartender, "You know, he's got you there. In the original offer, which constitutes a binding contract upon acceptance, there was no stipulation of remuneration." The bartender was not impressed, but says to the guy, "Okay, you beat me for a drink. But don't ever let me catch you in here again." The next day, same guy walks into the bar. Bartender says, "What the heck are you doing in here? I can't believe you've got the audacity to come back!" The guy says, "What are you talking about? I've never been in this place in my life!" The bartender replies, "I'm very sorry, but this is uncanny. You must have a double." To which the guy replies, "Thank you. Make it a scotch | |
Joke by PALROSS, in Jokes with no home > Bar Jokes - Tagged scotch , lawyer , double - Current Score: 37 - Added: 10 months ago
| What's the similarity between Gary Glitter and a single malt whisky? They both come in small tots. | |
Joke by hismastersvice, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged gary glitter , scotch , tots - Current Score: 21 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| A guy walks into a bar and rudely demands a shot of 12-yr old scotch. The bartender thinks "this guy doesn't know the difference," so he pours a shot of 2-year old scotch. The guy takes one sip and spits it out. He promptly hollers at the bartender: "I said 12-year old scotch, you bozo!" Still unimpressed the bartender pours some 6-year old scotch. The guy takes a sip...same reaction. But the bartender still doesn't believe the guy knows the difference. So he pours a shot of 10-year old scotch. Again, same reaction from the rude guy. Finally, the bartender is convinced. He pours the patron a glass of 12-year-old scotch. The patron takes a sip and is most satisfied. All the while this has been going on, a drunk at the end of the bar has been watching. He slides a shot glass down the bar to the patron and drunkedly says: "Shay mishter, tashte this!" The guy obliges...he promptly spits it out. "It tastes like fuckin piss," he shoots back at the drunk. The drunk replies: How old am I?" | |
Joke by PALROSS, in Jokes with no home > Drinking Jokes - Tagged rude guy , scotch , drunk , piss - Current Score: 19 - Added: 9 months ago
| What's the difference between Scotch and children? Scotch gets better with age. | |
Joke by MikeLit, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged paedophile , children , scotch - Current Score: 11 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
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