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| Gillian Gibbons has said that her original 15 day prison sentence seemed harsh at the time, but to be released and deported to Liverpool was "totally fucking undeserved!". |    |
Joke by chelsea_steve, in Celebrity and news events > Gillian Gibbons - Tagged gillian gibbons , teddy , bear , scousers , scouse , liverpool , sudan , muslim , mohammed - Current Score: 98 - Added: 7 months ago
| A black man starts work on a construction site. The other workers nickname him "Wog". Feeling upset by this, the black man goes to speak with the foreman. The foreman laughs and tells him "but we all have nicknames. We've got Mick and Paddy, they're Irish. Wac from Liverpool. And Mac from Scotland". The black man was still not happy, so the foreman shouted at his men "Mick, Mack, Paddy, Wac leave the Wog alone!" | |
Joke by make_a_brew, in Religion and racism > Blacks - Tagged irish , black , scouse , racist - Current Score: 67 - Added: 11 months ago
| Two men are playing football in a public park when suddenly a crazed rottweiler dives out of a bush and launches itself at one of the men and begins to viciously savage him. Reacting quickly the other man pulls a plank of wood out of an old fence and forces it into the dog's coller and twists it, breaking the dog's neck and killing it instantly. Paramedics arrive and take his friend away for medical attention, and a man approaches the hero with a notepad and pen, he says "I am reporter and I would like to write an article about your heroic deed!", the hero agrees and the reporter writes a title for his article- "Manchester United fan saves friend from vicious attack!" The man reads this and says "I'm not a Manchester United fan" The reporter apologises and writes "England fan saves friend from crazed animal!" The man reads this and says "I'm not a England fan" The reporter apologises again and asks what football team he supports. The man replies "Liverpool" The reporter nods and quickly writes "SCOUSE BASTARD MURDERS FAMILY PET!" | |
Joke by D dude, in Religion and racism > Scousers - Tagged scouse , dog , murder , hero , football - Current Score: 54 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Scouse mum and daughter are washing the dishes "mum, why are your hands so soft and smooth.. is it because you use fairly liquid?" "no it's because i'm 14" | |
Joke by jazza l s, in Religion and racism > Scousers - Tagged scouse , mummy - Current Score: 38 - Added: 2 months ago
| Sean Connery was interviewed by Michael Parkinson and bragged that, despite being 72 years of age, he could still have sex three times a night. Cilla Black, who was also a guest, looked intrigued. After the show, Cilla says, "Sean, if I'm not bein too forward, I'd luv to 'ave sex with yer. Lets go back to my 'ouse, we could 'ave a lorra fun." So they went back to her place and got comfortable. After a couple of drinks they went off to bed and had an hour of mad passionate sex together. Afterwards, Sean says, "If you think that was good, let me shleep for half an hour, and we can have better shex. But while I'm shleeping, hold my balls in your left hand and ma willie in your right hand." Cilla looks a bit perplexed, but says, "Okay." He sleeps for half an hour, awakens, and they have even better sex than before. Then Sean says, 'Cilla, that was wonderful. But if you let me shleep for an hour, we can have the besht shex yet. You'll have to......." "I know Sean. Yer want me to 'old onto yer bat 'n balls again. No problem hun." Cilla complies with the routine. The results this time are absolutely mind blowing. Once it's all over, they have a drink, Sean lights a cigarette and Cilla asks. "Sean, tell me, dis 'oldin yer balls in one hand and yer willie in de other - does it really stimulate yer that much?" Sean replies, "No, not at all Cilla, but the last time I shlept with a scouser, the bitch stole ma wallet." | |
Joke by NOVACASTRIAN, in Celebrity and news events > Sean Connery - Tagged cilla black , scouse , sex , sean connery - Current Score: 26 - Added: 2 months ago
| So I was in Liverpool, having a shite in the public toilets. When a scouse voice in the next cubicle says; "Hey mate, there's no loo roll in 'ere. Pass us some through, will ya." So I unravelled a few sheets and passed them under the partition. The cheeky bastard stood on my hand and nicked my watch! | |
Joke by Boogaloo, in Religion and racism > Scousers - Tagged scouse , thieving bastard , toilet , shite , liverpool - Current Score: 22 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| This guy and this girl finish coming from a blind date when before he can say good night she asks him if he wants to have a drink. He says, "Yes," so they go in the house and they go in her room and she says, "Now close your eyes I have a surprise for you." She later says, "You can open your eyes now," he opens them and she has whipped cream all over her pussy. He goes and start eating the whipped cream until he found himself with a dick in his mouth. The girl starts crying and says, "I shouldn't of lied to you, I'm a man my name is bob and I'm a plumber from Liverpool." The guy with a sickened look says, "You, you never said you were from Liverpool." | |
Joke by maxmoore, in Religion and racism > Scousers - Tagged liverpool , man , cross dresser , blind date , scouse , scouser - Current Score: 17 - Added: 2 months ago
| What's the difference between scouse kids and Austrian kids? At least the Austrian kids know who their dad is. | |
Joke by Retard, in Religion and racism > Scousers - Tagged scouse , liverpool , josef fritzl , austria - Current Score: 16 - Added: 1 month ago
| Two plane loads of Scouse volunteers left Merseyside today, bound for New Orleans. They will be assisting with the looting. | |
Joke by coathanger, in Celebrity and news events > Hurricane Katrina - Tagged hurricane katrina , new orleans , scouse , scousers , liverpool , loot - Current Score: 14 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Three scouse Muslims were arrested today. The three were named: Bin Robbin, Bin Muggin and Bin Drinking. Sadly there is still no sign of Bin Workin! | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Scousers - Tagged scouse , muslim , bombers , bin laden , evil scousers , silly scousers , silly theiving scouse cunts - Current Score: 12 - Added: 8 months ago
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