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| A Scouser inadvertently goes into a gay bar for a beer. He sits at the bar supping his pint when one gay gentleman decides to chance his luck. He approaches the scouser and whispers something into his ear, whereupon the Liverpudlian turns around in complete disgust and horror and proceeds to punch the living fuck out of the homosexual, fist after fist punching him out the door, kicking him across the pub car park, relentlessly punching and kicking until the victim lay comatose. The Scouser then dusted himself down and calmly returned to his pint at the bar, whilst the horrified staff and clientele stood silent and motionless. Eventually, the barman plucks up the courage to ask what had happened: Barman: "Bloody hell mate. What on earth did he whisper to you?" Scouser: "Dunno, something about a 'job'." |    |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged scouser , homosexual , fight , gay , bar , wanker , liverpool , job , work , gay bar , punch , kick , punched , kicked - Current Score: 352 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| A scouser walked into the local job centre, marched straight up to the counter and said, "Hi, I'm looking for a job." The man behind the counter replied, "Your timing is amazing. We've just got a listing from a very wealthy man who wants a chauffeur/bodyguard for his nymphomaniac twin daughters. You'll have to drive around in a big black Mercedes, uniform provided. Because of the long hours of this job, meals will also be provided and you will also be required to escort the young ladies on their overseas holidays. The salary package is £200,000 a year." The scouser said, "You're bullshitting me!" The man behind the counter replied, "Well, you bloody started it." | |
Joke by orangesweets, in Religion and racism > Jehovahs Witness - Tagged chav , job , scouser , job centre , unemployed - Current Score: 195 - Added: 1 year, 8 months ago
| An Irishman, Aussie and a Scouser are in a bar and spot Jesus drinking on his own. They each send him a drink over and he sips each one slowly. When he's finished he walks over to the Irishman and shakes his hand and thanks him for the Guiness. "Fuck me, my arthritis has gone!" Jesus then thanks the Aussie for the Fosters. "Fucking hell mate, my bad back's cured!" Jesus approaches the Scouser who runs away screaming, "Fuck off, you cunt - I'm on disability benefit." | |
Joke by cornish_breeze, in Illness and mortality > Disability - Tagged jesus , scouser , scots man , english man , irish man - Current Score: 125 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| A Scouser is driving through Liverpool with his dog in the passenger seat. A police panda car follows him for about half a mile and then puts its siren and stop sign on indicating to him to pull over. As the copper approaches the car he sees the Scouser is slapping the dog`s head. He tells the driver to wind down his window and asks "Why are you hitting the dog?" The Scouser replies, "The bloody thing just ate my tax disc" | |
Joke by Lovelace, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged scouser , dog , police , o - Current Score: 101 - Added: 7 months, 8 days ago
| I just had a go of the Liverpool version of Monopoly Its just like regular monopoly except every space says go to jail. | |
Joke by redman, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged liverpool , monopoly , theif , scouser , jail - Current Score: 87 - Added: 1 month ago
| My scouser cousin's girlfriend had a baby today. They're so proud of him. He's the only one in the family who's been inside for less than nine months. | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged scouser , baby , jail - Current Score: 76 - Added: 5 months, 15 days ago
| What do you get if you combine a Polish person with a Scouser? Someone who steals all the jobs. | |
Joke by lionarse, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged polish , liverpool , work , scouser , steal - Current Score: 59 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| In a recent survey in liverpool. they asked 100 scousers if they have ever had sex in the shower, 75% said yes...and the other 25% said they haven't been to prison yet. | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged liverpool , shower , jail , scouser , sex - Current Score: 47 - Added: 5 months ago
| Police have cordoned off an area in Croxteth after sightings of an unidentified, never seen before, circular object. Turns out it's a tax disc. | |
Joke by trfccurt, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged tax fraud , chav , scouser , mersyside , liverpool , wayne rooney , thief - Current Score: 42 - Added: 6 months, 27 days ago
| Three men - a Scouser, a Manc and a Rasta - all in the maternity ward waiting for their partners to give birth. The midwife comes out and tells them congratulations, they're all fathers of beautiful healthy boys, however unfortunately they've run out of the name tags, and the babies have been mixed up, so if they could each go in and identify their sons from any family resemblance, etc. The Manc wants to go first, so in he goes and comes out with a black baby. The Rasta looks a bit confused, "excuse me", he said, "but don't you think he's likely to be mine?" "Probably", said the Manc, "but one of them in there's a scouser, and I'm takin' no chances!" | |
Joke by M.S, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged scouse , scouser , ysb - Current Score: 37 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
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