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| My old nan is getting a bit doddery. I went to see her last week, and as soon as I walked in she said, "oh Arthur! Is it you?" I said, "no, nan, grandad died 20 years ago. It's me, bleary." She carried on: "Oh Arthur, how I've missed you so!" "Nan! Grandad is dead! I'm your grandson!" "Come over here, so I can give you a kiss" "I'm not him you daft bitch!" "And then, bend me over the kitchen table and throw one into me, the way you used to when we were youngsters." "...Oh Agnes, I've missed you so much!" |    |
Joke by bleary, in Sex and shit > Granny Shagger - Tagged granny , grandmother , grandad , senile , mistaken identity , biddy fiddler - Current Score: 153 - Added: 4 months, 15 days ago
| This years Alzheimer's Society annual fair will be a day to remember. | |
Joke by stig2112, in Illness and mortality > Alzheimers - Tagged alzheimers , fair , remember , forget , senile - Current Score: 149 - Added: 4 months, 22 days ago
| The old lady next door to me is going senile so I go round there every week to go shopping for her. It's great - five minutes later she's forgotten all about it and I'm fifty quid richer! | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Illness and mortality > Alzheimers - Tagged alzheimers , senile , dementia , old lady - Current Score: 47 - Added: 3 months, 5 days ago
| An old man took his wife to the doctor's. After a short examination the doctor said, 'I'm afraid your wife's mind has completely gone!'. The old man replied, 'I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 45 years.' | |
Joke by gartnavel, in Illness and mortality > Old People - Tagged old , elderly , senile , alzheimers , wife , husband , doctor - Current Score: 31 - Added: 1 month, 28 days ago
| Two senile old blokes, Albert and George are sitting on the beach at Brighton. Albert says "Do you want an ice cream George?" George says "Yes, please, with a flake". Then George says "Now promise me you won't forget to get the flake". Albert says "I promise". Again George says "Absolutely promise me on your mother's life you won't forget the flake" Albert says "I promise on my mother's life I won't forget your flake" So Albert goes off to get the ice cream. George waits five minutes. Then Albert comes back and says "There's your pork pie". George says "Where's the chips?" | |
Joke by Guest, in Illness and mortality > Old People - Tagged senile - Current Score: 27 - Added: 8 months, 27 days ago
| Old age; first you forget names, then you forget faces. Then you forget to pull your zipper up, and finally, you forget to pull it down. | |
Joke by gartnavel, in Illness and mortality > Old People - Tagged old age , old people , incontinence , zipper , zip , fly , elderly , senile - Current Score: 20 - Added: 1 month, 10 days ago
| A 104 year old man was being interviewed on a local television station about reaching such a milestone age. The reporter asked the old man "what's the best thing about being 104? To which he replied "no peer pressure!" | |
Joke by Armand Hammer, in Illness and mortality > Old People - Tagged age , senile , peer pressure - Current Score: 10 - Added: 7 months, 25 days ago
| My Grandad is going senile. When he saw a sign saying "Wet Floor", he did! | |
Joke by peeps, in Jokes with no home > Grandad - Tagged grandad , wet floor , senile - Current Score: 7 - Added: 8 months, 7 days ago
| My mother-in-law's started going senile and she's doing weird things, like doing the housework at three in the morning. For the first time ever, I've told the wife she's welcome to stay any weekend! | |
Joke by ReigatePen, in Illness and mortality > Senility - Tagged mother in law , bernard manning would be so proud of me , senile , dementia - Current Score: 5 - Added: 4 months, 21 days ago
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