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| A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter. Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they're bound to be curious about sex at that age." "Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!" |    |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Illness and mortality > Children - Tagged doctors and nurses , doctor , nurse , sex , appendix - Current Score: 2260 - Added: 1 year ago
| I don't know what's happening in this country. You've got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children. It's a nightmare - you don't know whether to carry sweets or money. | |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged kids , school , sex , money , whores , sweets - Current Score: 1104 - Added: 1 month ago
| My girlfriend said I've got the biggest cock she'd ever seen, That's one of the benefits of going out with a 10 year old. | |
Joke by issachunt, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged cock , girlfriend , paedophile , sex - Current Score: 955 - Added: 6 months ago
| A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around eight PM. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been!" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!" | |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged sex , wife , fuck , golf - Current Score: 949 - Added: 1 year ago
| When I was a teenager, I used to pray every night that the girl next door would fancy me so I could make love to her. When I grew up, I realised God didn't work like that, so I raped her and prayed for forgiveness. | |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged god , rape , girl , sex , pray , teenage - Current Score: 914 - Added: 6 months ago
| If you have sex with a prostitute without her permission, is it rape... or shoplifting? | |
Joke by immortalmaniac, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged sex , prostitute , shoplifting , rape , is - Current Score: 898 - Added: 3 months ago
| Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is lying in bed reading. Man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache." Wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep." Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep." | |
Joke by sickfuck, in Sex and shit > Women - Tagged man , sheep , sex , pig - Current Score: 841 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| Shhhhhh!!....... Don't tell anyone...... I'm gonna go down on you.... ...And you're gonna love it........... ........But it's only going to be long enough to let you start enjoying it........ ....Then I'm gonna come back up again and fuck you big time..... Lots of love, Petrol prices xx | |
Joke by fuckingliability, in Celebrity and news events > Petrol Prices - Tagged petrol , prices , sex , oral - Current Score: 738 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| Why I fired my secretary: Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel very well waking up on that morning. I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my wife would be pleasant and say, "Happy Birthday!", and possibly have a small present for me. As it turned out, she barely said good morning, let alone "Happy Birthday." I thought... Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids... They will remember. My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast and didn't say a word. So when I left for the office, I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent. As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane said, "Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy Birthday!" It felt a little better that at least someone had remembered. I worked until one o'clock, when Jane knocked on my door and said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say we go out to lunch, just you and me." I said, "Thanks, Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go!" We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally would go. She chose instead a quiet bistro with a private table. We had two Martinis each and I enjoyed the meal tremendously. On the way back to the office, Jane said, "You know, It's such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back to the office, do we?" I responded, "I guess not. What do you have in mind?" She said, "Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner." After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said, "Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom for just a moment. I'll be right back." "Ok," I nervously replied. She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes, she came out carrying a huge birthday cake. Followed by my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers, all singing "Happy birthday". And I just sat there... On the couch... Sobbing... Naked... and erect. | |
| Husband and wife... BEFORE MARRIAGE: Husband - Aaah! ...At last! I can hardly wait! Wife - Do you want me to leave? Husband - No! Don't even think about it. Wife - Do you love me? Husband - Of course! Always have and always will! Wife - Have you ever cheated on me? Husband - No! Why are you even asking? Wife - Will you kiss me? Husband - Every chance I get! Wife - Will you hit me? Husband - Hell no! Are you crazy?! Wife - Can I trust you? Husband - Yes. Wife - Darling! AFTER MARRIAGE: read from bottom to top. | |
Joke by poosmellsyucky, in Sex and shit > Husband - Tagged marraige , sex , divorce - Current Score: 703 - Added: 3 months, 25 days ago
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