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| A woman brings eight-year-old Johnny home and tells his mother that he was caught playing doctors and nurses with Mary, her eight-year-old daughter. Johnny's mother says, "Let's not be too harsh on them... they're bound to be curious about sex at that age." "Curious about sex?" replies Mary's mother. "He's taken her fucking appendix out!" |    |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Illness and mortality > Children - Tagged doctors and nurses , doctor , nurse , sex , appendix - Current Score: 2352 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| A guy goes to the pub, and says to his friend, "You won't believe what happened! I was taking a shortcut along the railway track, and I found a girl tied to the rails. I untied her, and we had sex over and over again, all the positions, everything!" His friend replies, "That's great! Did you get a blowjob?" "No, I never found the head." | |
Joke by caliban, in Sex and shit > Necrophilia - Tagged sex , dead , railway , pub , friend , positions , position , blow job , suck , head - Current Score: 1717 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| I don't know what's happening in this country. You've got school children dressing like whores and whores dressing like school children. It's a nightmare - you don't know whether to carry sweets or money. | |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged kids , school , sex , money , whores , sweets , al murray - Current Score: 1157 - Added: 2 months, 28 days ago
| My girlfriend said I've got the biggest cock she'd ever seen, That's one of the benefits of going out with a 10 year old. | |
Joke by issachunt, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged cock , girlfriend , paedophile , sex - Current Score: 1046 - Added: 8 months ago
| A married man was having an affair with his secretary. One day, their passions overcame them and they took off for her house, where they made passionate love all afternoon. Exhausted from the wild sex, they fell asleep, awakening around eight PM. As the man threw on his clothes, he told the woman to take his shoes outside and rub them through the grass and dirt. Mystified, she nonetheless complied. He slipped into his shoes and drove home. "Where have you been!" demanded his wife when he entered the house. "Darling, I can't lie to you. I've been having an affair with my secretary and we've been having sex all afternoon. I fell asleep and didn't wake up until eight o'clock." The wife glanced down at his shoes and said, "You lying bastard! You've been playing golf!" | |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged sex , wife , fuck , golf - Current Score: 1034 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| If you have sex with a prostitute without her permission, is it rape... or shoplifting? | |
Joke by immortalmaniac, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged sex , prostitute , shoplifting , rape , is - Current Score: 997 - Added: 4 months, 27 days ago
| When I was a teenager, I used to pray every night that the girl next door would fancy me so I could make love to her. When I grew up, I realised God didn't work like that, so I raped her and prayed for forgiveness. | |
Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged god , rape , girl , sex , pray , teenage - Current Score: 970 - Added: 7 months, 19 days ago
| Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is lying in bed reading. Man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache." Wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep." Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep." | |
Joke by sickfuck, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged man , sheep , sex , pig - Current Score: 935 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Shhhhhh!!....... Don't tell anyone...... I'm gonna go down on you.... ...And you're gonna love it........... ........But it's only going to be long enough to let you start enjoying it........ ....Then I'm gonna come back up again and fuck you big time..... Lots of love, Petrol prices xx | |
Joke by fuckingliability, in Celebrity and news events > Petrol Prices - Tagged petrol , prices , sex , oral - Current Score: 929 - Added: 2 months ago
| I lost my virginity to a retard last night... I wanted my first time to be special. | |
Joke by M.S, in Illness and mortality > Down Syndrome - Tagged retard , retarded , sex , virginity , special - Current Score: 878 - Added: 3 weeks ago
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