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A couple goes on vacation to a fishing resort in northern Minnesota.The husband likes to fish at the crack of dawn - the wife likes to read.

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap.

Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and continues to read her book.

Along comes a game warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning Ma'am. What are you doing?"

"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")

"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informs her.

"I'm sorry officer, but I'm not fishing, I'm reading."

"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."

"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.

"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.

"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."

"Have a nice day ma'am", and he left.


MORAL:

Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.
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Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged woman , lake , fishing , book , sexual , wife , husband  - Current Score: 41 - Added: 7 months, 28 days ago

I really feel for the Muslims.
I mean, if I had to suppress my sexual urges like they have to, I'd probably explode...
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Joke by gartnavel, in Religion and racism > Muslims - Tagged muslims , muslim , islam , suicide bombers , sexual , explode  - Current Score: 37 - Added: 1 month, 14 days ago

A man was arrested today by a couple of police officers after being reported for performing rude sexual acts in a public toilet, he only went in to spend a penny , and came out with two coppers!!I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Pervert - Tagged spend , coppers , sexual , lewd , crude , rude , police , toilet  - Current Score: 35 - Added: 2 months, 2 days ago

Me and my girlfriend were in the throes of sexual ecstasy.
She whispered, "leave me breathless darling."
So I punched her in the stomach.
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Joke by mickle, in Sex and shit > Girlfriend - Tagged throes , sexual , ectasy , punched , stomach  - Current Score: 27 - Added: 1 month, 24 days ago

I was responsible for cutting rape and sexual assault in my town by 90%.

I moved away.
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Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged responsible , cutting , rape , sexual , asault  - Current Score: 25 - Added: 3 months, 8 days ago

My sexual dream came true last night when I fucked a mother and daughter in my bed. It was incredible but, on the downside, my wife and daughter are not speaking to me now.I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by justincider, in Sex and shit > Threesomes - Tagged sexual , dream , fucked , mother , daughter , bed , incredible  - Current Score: 16 - Added: 3 months, 3 days ago

I just found the boyfriend shoving chick peas and pita bread up his arse.

I think he's a hummus sexual.
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Joke by mongo, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged boyfriend , arse , sex , sexual  - Current Score: 12 - Added: 5 months, 23 days ago

You seem to have a good imagination.

Try this: Pretend there are two dice on your computer keyboard.

Got the picture?

Good.

Now, pick up one of them and imagine you see the spots.

What number is it?

Did the number remind you of your first sexual experience?

No, probably not.

Now put down that die and pick up the other one and look at the spots.

How many do you see?

What's the number?

Did THAT make you think of your first sexual experience?

I suppose it didn't.

Now pick up both the dice and shake them in your hand.

Are you shaking them?

Good.

I bet THAT reminds you of your first sexual experience!
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Joke by welsh twat, in Jokes with no home > Dice - Tagged dice , spots , hand , wanker , sexual , experience  - Current Score: 11 - Added: 3 months, 17 days ago

What sexual position makes ugly babies?

Ask your mother.
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Joke by cb, in Sex and shit > Random - Tagged sexual , position , mother  - Current Score: 9 - Added: 1 month, 16 days ago

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