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| Newsflash: The Olympic Swimming Pool was evacuated earlier today when reports came in of a shark being seen in the water. Investigation into the incident revealed that the cause of the scare was Rebecca Adlington doing the backstroke. |    |
Joke by paulm, in Celebrity and news events > Rebecca Addlington - Tagged olympics , rebecca adlington , rebecca , shark , pool , scare - Current Score: 74 - Added: 3 months, 17 days ago
| I don't know what the fuss is all about regarding the shark off the coast of Cornwall. It's the only white thing in ages that's been trying to get into this country. fuck | |
Joke by Retard, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged shark , racist , cornwall - Current Score: 73 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Marine biology researchers have developed a new method to fend off shark attacks. If you are diving and are approached by a shark they recommend that you swim towards it aggressively and punch it in the nose as hard as possible." "If this doesn't work, beat the shark with your stump." | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged shark , swimming - Current Score: 30 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| Far away in the tropical waters of the Caribbean, two prawns were swimming around in the sea - one called Justin and the other called Christian. The prawns were constantly being harassed and threatened by sharks that inhabited the area. Finally one day Justin said to Christian, "I'm fed up with being a prawn; I wish I was a shark, and then I wouldn't have any worries about being eaten." A large mysterious cod appeared and said, "Your wish is granted" And lo and behold, Justin turned into a shark. Horrified, Christian immediately swam away, afraid of being eaten by his old mate. Time passed (as it invariably does) and Justin found life as a shark boring and lonely. All his old mates simply swam away whenever he came close to them. Justin didn't realize that his new menacing appearance was the cause of his sad plight. While swimming alone one day he saw the mysterious cod again and he thought perhaps the mysterious fish could change him back into a prawn. He approached the cod and begged to be changed back, and, lo and behold, he found himself turned back into a prawn. With tears of joy in his tiny little eyes Justin swam back to his friends and bought them all a cocktail. Looking around the gathering at the reef he realized he couldn't see his old pal. "Where's Christian?" he asked. "He's at home, still distraught that his best friend changed sides to the enemy & became a shark", came the reply. Eager to put things right again and end the mutual pain and torture, he set off to Christian's abode. As he opened the coral gate memories came flooding back. He banged on the door and shouted, "It's me, Justin, your old friend, come out and see me again." Christian replied, "No way man, you'll eat me. You're now a shark, the enemy, and I'll not be tricked into being your dinner." Justin cried back "No, I'm not. That was the old me. I've changed."......... "I've found Cod. I'm a Prawn again Christian". | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Christianity - Tagged prawn , pun , christian , shark - Current Score: 12 - Added: 10 months, 11 days ago
| Van der Merwe had never been out of South Africa before and was visiting Bondi Beach, Australia. He spotted a long line of black dots out in the water and said to an Aussie, who was sitting close by, "What are all those little black things out there?" "They're buoys," said the Aussie. "Boys!" replied Van der Merwe. "What are they doing out there?" "Holding up the shark nets," the Aussie told him. "Fucking great country this!" said the South African, deeply impressed. "We'd never get away with that at home!" | |
Joke by welsh twat, in Religion and racism > South African - Tagged south , africa , buoy , shark - Current Score: 9 - Added: 3 months, 24 days ago
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