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| When Barack Obama was performing his speech after being elected as president, he had to do it behind three inch thick bullet-proof glass. I thought that was a bit harsh - just because he's black doesn't mean he's going to shoot anyone. |    |
Joke by jonnysmith16, in Celebrity and news events > Barack Obama - Tagged barack obama , black , shoot , frankie boyle - Current Score: 1349 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| I missed a Jehovah's Witness at the front door this morning, which was a odd as I thought I had a clear shot | |
Joke by whogivesashit, in Religion and racism > Jehovahs Witness - Tagged religion , guns , jehovahs witness , shoot , door , odd - Current Score: 137 - Added: 2 months, 29 days ago
| What would it take to reunite "The Beatles"? Two bullets. | |
Joke by JossDude, in Celebrity and news events > The Beatles - Tagged beatles , old , bullets , shoot , reunite , reunion - Current Score: 71 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Bad news for me. With all these deaths and injuries after the shootings in Mumbai, I'm gonna have to wait another fucking half an hour before speaking to some Indian dipshit at HSBC tomorrow. | |
Joke by mycockisbiggerthanyours, in Celebrity and news events > India Shooting - Tagged hsbc , mumbai , indian , india , shoot , shooting - Current Score: 44 - Added: 5 days ago
| An Aussie, a Kiwi, and a South African are at a bar one night having a beer. All of a sudden the South African drinks his beer, takes off his diamond encrusted watch, pulls out a gun shoots the watch to pieces. He says "In South Afrika we have so many diamonds that we don't need to wear the same diamond twice." The Kiwi (obviously impressed by this) drinks his beer throw his glass into the air, pulls out his gun and shoots the glass to pieces. He says "Well mate, in New Zealand we have so much sand to make the glass that we don't need to drink out of the same cup twice ay." The Australian then pulls out his gun and shoots the Kiwi. | |
Joke by immortalshadow666, in Religion and racism > Kiwis - Tagged aussie , kiwi , south , african , shoot , gun , cup , sand , diamond , australian , new zealander , nz , pub , bar - Current Score: 37 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| I still miss my ex-wife. But my aims improving. | |
Joke by cb, in Jokes with no home > Wife - Tagged wife , miss , shoot - Current Score: 37 - Added: 1 month, 20 days ago
| If you're ever in a hostage situation and the gun man says, "who shall I shoot first?" Saying, "it's WHOM shall I shoot first," is not the best answer! | |
Joke by albinobob123, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged who , whom , gun , hostage , shoot - Current Score: 36 - Added: 4 months, 13 days ago
| A couple of blondes go on an adventure weekend. The archery and rifle practices go without a glitch, unfortunately they get lost during the hunting activity and are unable to phone for help. After screaming for help, they sit down and wait to be rescued... Eying the weaponry, one of the girls remarks, "didn't the guide say to shoot into the air to attract help if we got lost?" "Great idea," exclaims the other, and grabs the bag of weaponry. After 6 hours and 18 shots later they are still lost. "Do you reckon anyone will find us?" asks the first blonde, fearfully. "I bloody hope so, we've only got 2 arrows left..." says the other. | |
Joke by staffer, in Jokes with no home > Blonde - Tagged arrows , blonde , shoot , weaponry , hunting - Current Score: 27 - Added: 4 months, 12 days ago
| Mildred, 93, was despondent over the recent death of her husband Earl, so she decided to just kill herself and join him in death. Thinking it would be best to get it over with quickly, she took out Earl's old Army pistol and made the decision to shoot herself in the heart since it was so badly broken in the first place. Not wanting to miss the vital organ and become a vegetable and a burden to someone, she called her doctor's office to learn her heart's exact location. "Since you're a woman," the doctor said, "your heart is just below your left breast. Why do you ask?" She hung up without answering. Later that night, Mildred was admitted to the hospital with a gunshot wound to her knee. | |
Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged mildred , death , shoot , knee - Current Score: 26 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| Europe's human rights watchdog has expressed 'considerable concern' about the prospect of terrorist suspects being held in the UK for up to 42 days. I agree, we should shoot the fuckers on day one. | |
Joke by baldlice, in Celebrity and news events > Terrorists - Tagged terrorists , 42 days , uk , shoot , firing squad , suspects - Current Score: 24 - Added: 2 months ago
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