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| Why are all the best basketball players black? Because it involves stealing, shooting and running... |    |
Joke by Mrwolf, in Religion and racism > Black - Tagged black , racism , stealing , shooting , running , basketball - Current Score: 146 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| A big city lawyer went duck hunting in rural North Wairarapa. He shot & dropped a bird but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor & asked him what he was doing. The litigator responded, "I shot a duck & it fell in this field & now I'm going to retrieve it." The old farmer replied, "This is my property & you are not coming over here." The indignant lawyer said, "I am one of the best trial attorneys in New Zealand & if you don't let me get that duck, I'll sue you & take everything you own." The old farmer smiled & said, "Apparently, you don't know how we settle disputes in North Wairarapa. We settle small disagreements like this with the 'Three Kick Rule." The lawyer asked, "What is the 'Three Kick Rule'?" The Farmer replied, "Well, because the dispute occurs on my land, I get to go first. I kick you three times & then you kick me three times & so on back & forth until one gives up." The attorney quickly thought about the proposed contest & decided that he could easily take the old codger. He agreed to abide by the local custom. The old farmer slowly climbed down from the tractor & walked up to the attorney. His first kick planted the toe of his heavy steel toed work boot into the lawyer's groin & dropped him to his knees! His second kick to the midriff sent the lawyer's last meal gushing from his mouth. The lawyer was on all fours when the farmer's third kick to his rear end, sent him face-first into a fresh cow pie. The lawyer summoned every bit of his will & remaining strength & very slowly managed to get to his feet. Wiping his face with the arm of his jacket, he said, "Okay, you old fart, now it's my turn." The old farmer smiled & said, "Nah, I give up. You can have the duck." | |
Joke by aliaSligo, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged lawyer , shooting , gun , duck , fuck , new zealand , old people , beating em up , fight - Current Score: 120 - Added: 6 months, 13 days ago
| I've just had an email from Ticketmaster with the subject "DON'T MISS JAMES BLUNT". I've taken their brilliant advice & bought a great telescopic sight on eBay. | |
Joke by chelsea_steve, in Celebrity and news events > James Blunt - Tagged james blunt , twattish singer , cunt , shooting - Current Score: 31 - Added: 1 year ago
| So Barry George has been cleared of murdering Jill Dando, 8 years after the original trial. It seems the case hinged on a crucial piece of evidence: the original forensic investigation team had found evidence of a gun in his pocket But more recent tests revealed that, actually, he had just been happy to see them. | |
Joke by bleary, in Celebrity and news events > Barry George - Tagged jill dando , barry george , is that a gun in your pocket , shooting - Current Score: 31 - Added: 2 months ago
| What do you do if you see a one-legged, one-armed nigger hoppin down the road? Stop laughing, reload, and keep shooting. | |
Joke by Brotherfucker, in Religion and racism > Black - Tagged nigger , shooting - Current Score: 24 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Last night I had dream. I'm now worried about being shot. | |
Joke by cussler, in Religion and racism > Black - Tagged black , dream , shooting - Current Score: 22 - Added: 1 day ago
| Catherine Mullany got shot on her honeymoon. Her friends describe her as an amazing woman. My definition of amazing would include "bulletproof". | |
Joke by simonc, in Celebrity and news events > shooting - Tagged catherine mullany , shooting , honeymoon , wife , mawkish , cruel - Current Score: 17 - Added: 2 months, 15 days ago
| After the shooting in Finland, you realise just how bad the kids have it these days. When I was in school, all I had to worry about was getting raped by Mr Johns the PE teacher, again. | |
Joke by bawbag, in Celebrity and news events > Finnish Shooting - Tagged rape , teacher , shooting - Current Score: 17 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| Have you heard? There is a party at Virginia Tech tonight. Free shots for all students. | |
Joke by sick puppy, in Celebrity and news events > Virginia Tech - Tagged virginia tech , shooting , party , free shots - Current Score: 16 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Thomas Cook are offering deals on holidays to Antigua for all newly-weds: Free shots for all honeymooners! | |
Joke by r3edy, in Celebrity and news events > Antigua Shooting - Tagged shooting , antigua - Current Score: 14 - Added: 2 months ago
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