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| I work for the Samaritans. I tried to call in sick this morning but the fuckers talked me out of it. |    |
Joke by leisuresuitlee, in Jokes with no home > One Liners - Tagged job , samaritans , sick , bastards - Current Score: 311 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| I don't agree with Vodafones advertising campaign It states "Be part of the worlds largest mobile community" Now correct me if I'm wrong but that's the Gypsies!! [Jimmy Carr] | |
Joke by welshmadman, in Religion and racism > Gypsy - Tagged vodafone , gypsy , dirty , mobile community , phone , pikey , cunt , scum , sick - Current Score: 161 - Added: 9 months ago
| What does a 9 volt battery and a woman's arse hole have in common? You know it's wrong, but nevertheless you will end up touching it with your tongue! | |
Joke by Sense, in Sex and shit > Sick - Tagged sick , woman , arse - Current Score: 144 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| What are the top 25 rejected children’s book titles? 1. Daddy drinks because you cry 2. Garfield gets feline leukemia 3. What is that dog doing to that other dog? 4. How to dress sexy for grownups 5. Why can’t Mr. fork and Mrs. Electrical outlet be friends? 6. You were a mistake 7. Strangers Have the Best Candy 8. The Little Sissy Who Snitched 9. Some Kittens Can Fly! 10. Kathy Was So Bad Her Mom Stopped Loving Her 11. The Children's Guide to Hitchhiking 12. Dad's New Wife John 13. POP! Goes the Hamster...and Other Great Microwave Games 14. 101 Fun games to Play in the Road 15. Controlling the Playground: Respect Through Fear 16. The Little Golden Book of Electrical Wiring 17. Creatures Under The Bed: A Bedtime Story 18. Making Grown-Up Friends On The Internet 19. Chemistry from Under the Kitchen Sink 20. That’s it; I’m Putting You Up for Adoption 21. The Magic World Inside the Abandoned Refrigerator 22. Your Nightmares Are Real 23. Where Would You Like to be Buried? 24. Timmy’s The Wrong Colour To Be Your Friend 25. I Dare You! 101 Challenges To Prove You’re Not A Sissy | |
Joke by Cleveland, in Illness and mortality > Children - Tagged sick , kids , gross - Current Score: 141 - Added: 1 year ago
| What's the difference between a cancer victim and an AIDS victim ? You don't get sick after raping a cancer victim. | |
Joke by mamma mia, in Illness and mortality > Cancer - Tagged cancer , aids , rape , sick - Current Score: 116 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| The 7 dwarfs are all excited as the new pope is visiting fairy story land. All week they nudge Dopey sniggering "Well you can finally ask your question!", to which Dopey replies every time "Shurrup willya!" Finally the day arrives and all the dwarfs are lined up with the other characters from the Snow White story, he shakes hands with the evil Queen, then Snow White then slowly makes his way down the line of the dwarfs. As he approaches Dopey theres a small chant which gets louder and louder "Ask him.ask him...ask him ASK HIM>!" "Ask me what?" Questions the pope. The dwarfs shove Dopey forward "ASK HIM!", "What would you like to know?", says his holiness. "Well", begins Dopey, "Are any of your nuns black?" "Hm" ponders the pope "As a religion we catholics don't differentiate between creed so its more than probable that quite a few of our nuns are black . Does that answer your question?" ASK HIM!! shout the dwarfs. "Is there more to your question young man?" "Erm......do any of your nuns work in Antarctica?" "well young man we have nuns all around the globe so its more than likely that we have a couple in Antarctica. Does that answer your question?" ASK HIM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Yell the dwarfs! "Is there more to this question?" asks the pope now getting more than annoyed. "Erm..................................are any of these black nuns in Antarctica dwarfs?! "WHAT"! Splutters the pope. "I'm sure if we had a black dwarf nun in Antarctica i would have heard of it. So in answer to your question NO!" All the dwarfs collapse on the floor pissing themselves laughing. "DOPEY SHAGGED A PENGUIN!! DOPEY SHAGGED A PENGUIN!!" | |
Joke by cornish_breeze, in Jokes with no home > Dwarfs - Tagged pope , dwarfs , snow white , fairy story , dwarf , sick , penguin , nun , nuns - Current Score: 113 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| My dick is like a school sports day; the more disabled the child, the harder it gets. | |
Joke by b3tard, in Sex and shit > Disabled - Tagged yeah , sick , cunt , 12 - Current Score: 101 - Added: 2 months ago
| A little girl runs to her father on her birthday and says, "Daddy, Daddy, guess how old I am today." Humouring her he says, "I don't know, honey, how old are you?" She replies, "I'm SIX!" "That's great! Go tell your uncle," he tells her. The girl runs into her uncle's room and again shouts, "Uncie, Uncie, guess how old I am today." He says "Ok, take off your knickers and I'll tell you." She does so and the uncle sticks his fingers in her, sniffs them, and says, "You're six today." She asks him, "How did you know that?" He replies, "I heard you talking to your dad." | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Paedophilia - Tagged paedo , sick , uncle , finger - Current Score: 96 - Added: 8 months ago
| I went home from work early today and found the plumber shagging my dog. I phoned the police and they said there was nothing they could do. They said the bastard was Corgi Registered. | |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Sex and shit > plumber - Tagged plumber , shag , dog , bastard , sick - Current Score: 93 - Added: 7 months ago
| I just read an article about bulimia. Poor people, it makes you sick doesn't it? | |
Joke by Guest, in Illness and mortality > bulimia - Tagged bulimia , eating disoreder , skinny , sick , eat some pies! - Current Score: 69 - Added: 8 months ago
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