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| I was parking my car up yesterday when a rather angry traffic warden banged on the window and shouted, "You can't park your car there!" I said, "I fucking can, the sign says 'Fine for Parking'!" |    |
Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Jokes with no home > Cars - Tagged space , traffic warden , car park , sign - Current Score: 156 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| The spot where Marc Bolan died has, over the years, grown into a shrine to his memory with fans from all over the world leaving flowers and momentos. A recent meeting of the local council decided it would be appropriate to place a permanent memorial at the site. After due consideration it was decided to erect a simple sign. On one side it reads "This sign commemorates the spot where Marc Bolan met his tragic death". The other side says WARNING - TREE. | |
Joke by roandy, in Illness and mortality > A Man Was...... - Tagged marc bolan , warning , tree , sign , car-crash - Current Score: 108 - Added: 6 months, 20 days ago
| Tell ya, hookers have a great sense of humour, there's a sign outside my local brothel that reads 'It's a business doing pleasure with you'. | |
Joke by chris732, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged prostitute , business , sign - Current Score: 98 - Added: 7 months, 10 days ago
| What does the sign say above the nursery in a Muslim maternity ward? "Live ammunition." | |
Joke by caliban, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged muslim , islam , terrorist , terrorism , maternity , baby , babies , sign , live , ammunition , nursery - Current Score: 76 - Added: 1 year, 6 months ago
| Two prostitutes were riding around town with a sign on top of their car which said: "Two Prostitutes - $50.00." A policeman, seeing the sign, stopped them and told them they'd either have to remove the sign or go to jail. Just at that time, another car passed with a sign saying: "JESUS SAVES." One of the girls asked the officer, "How come you don't stop them?!" "Well, that's a little different," the officer smiled. "Their sign pertains to religion." The following day, the same police officer noticed the same two hos driving around with a large sign on their car. He figured he had an easy arrest until he read their new sign: "Two Fallen Angels Seeking Peter -- $50." ----------------------- | |
Joke by katabee, in Religion and racism > Africans - Tagged whores , sign - Current Score: 16 - Added: 1 month, 29 days ago
| How does a Paki make his car go faster? He takes the 'Taxi' sign off the top. | |
Joke by staffer, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged paki , taxi , sign , car , faster - Current Score: 14 - Added: 2 months, 26 days ago
| I am in the process of taking my local branch of Next to court for misleading it's customers. I mean, why put up signs saying 'Womenswear' and then get upset when you call the assistants 'stuck-up cunts'? | |
Joke by BruceWillis, in Jokes with no home > Shops - Tagged womenswear , next , sign , stuck up cunts - Current Score: 9 - Added: 3 months, 17 days ago
| A man was sitting in a pub and noticed a group of people using sign language. He also noticed that the bartender was using sign language to speak to them. When the bartender turned to him, the man asked how he had learned to use sign language. The bartender explained that these were regular customers and had taught him to speak in sign. The man thought that was great. A few minutes later the man noticed that the group were waving their hands around very wildly. The bartender looked over and said, ‘Now cut that out! I warned you!’ and promptly threw the group out. The man asked why he had done that and the bartender said, ‘If I’ve told them once, I’ve told them a hundred times; NO SINGING IN THE PUB!' | |
Joke by gartnavel, in Illness and mortality > Deaf And Dumb - Tagged deaf , mute , dumb , pub , bar , sign - Current Score: 1 - Added: 1 month, 30 days ago
| Why don't blacks have cheque books? They find it too hard to sign their names in spraypaint! | |
Joke by Guest, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged black , spray , paint , cheque , sign - Current Score: 0 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
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