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Browsing tag: size
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I think blow up dolls are great. I mean, where else are you going to find a woman that always looks shocked to see the size of your bell end?I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by slimjim69, in Sex and shit > Blow Up Doll - Tagged blow up dolls , shocked , penis , size  - Current Score: 260 - Added: 1 month, 5 days ago

If size doesn't matter, how come my girlfriend's vibrator isn't three inches and crooked?I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by newzero, in Sex and shit > Vibrator - Tagged size , penis , girlfriend  - Current Score: 189 - Added: 4 months, 29 days ago

Ed went to see the Doctor. The Doctor asked what was wrong.
"Don't laugh!" said the patient Ed.
"Of course I won't laugh," the doctor said. "I'm a professional.
In over twenty years I've never laughed at a patient".
"Okay then," Ed said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the smallest penis the doctor had ever seen. It couldn't have been bigger than the size of a AAA battery.
Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, then fell laughing to the floor. Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.
"I'm so sorry," said the doctor. "I really am. I don't know what came over me. On my honour as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won't happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?"
"It's swollen," Ed replied
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Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged size , penis , battery , swelling  - Current Score: 129 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago

The 6 different sizes of penis

1.......Small

2.......Medium

3.......Large

4.......Oh my god

5.......Holy fuck

6.......Does that come in white
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Joke by bobbydgg, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged penis , size  - Current Score: 74 - Added: 1 year ago

I witnessed the start of a brutal gang rape last night, but turned away.

I couldn't bear to look at five cocks, all bigger than mine.
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Joke by The Wolf, in Sex and shit > Rape - Tagged gang rape , cock , witness , brutal , size , start  - Current Score: 49 - Added: 3 months, 17 days ago

All girls like clothes but I'm having to dig deep when I treat my girlfriend to a new top or pair of shoes.

I can't imagine what it's like for those of you with girlfriends in adult sizes.
I like this! This is poor. Edit this
Joke by albinobob123, in Sex and shit > Paedophile - Tagged paedophillia , clothes , adult , size  - Current Score: 35 - Added: 4 months, 16 days ago

The first time I went to a chemist to buy condoms, I was waited on by a beautiful young woman. She asked what size I wanted and I said I wasn't sure. So she asked now big I was and I said, "Compared to what?"
She held up one finger and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm bigger than that."
Then she held up two fingers and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm bigger than that."
Then she held up three fingers and asked if I was that big. I said, "I'm about that big."
She put the three fingers in her mouth and said, "You're a medium."
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Joke by ht, in Sex and shit > condom - Tagged condoms , size , chemist  - Current Score: 32 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago

A disheveled man walks into a bar with a small box with music coming out of it and puts it on top of the bar.

Curious, the bartender says, "Hey pal, what's the music box for?"

The man protects the box, but asks the bartender, "If I show you something you've never seen before, will you give me a free drink?"

The bartender laughs and says, "Buddy, I've been tending
bar for thrity years! I've seen EVERYTHING! If you show me something I've never seen before, I'll give free drinks to EVERYBODY!"

Now all the patrons in the bar are watching. The bum opens the box, and inside, is a miniature man about so tall playing a piano. He plays Beethoven, ragtime, Jerry Lee Lewis, Elton John and is just going nuts playing stuff.

Everyone mills around ohhing and awing. The bartender is overcome with amusement: "Allright! Drinks for everyone!"
The crowd packs in and gets their drinks, then goes and sits down.

When they're alone again, the bartender can't help himself.

"So, uh, listen pal, where'd you get the tiny musician?"

"Well", says the bum, downing his drink, " just a couple hours ago, I woke up on the beach, and I didn't want to live anymore, so I was shuffling down the shore with my feet in the sand, ready to throw myself in the ocean, and I kicked up a bottle. I thought maybe it would fetch me enough money for another drink so I rubbed the dirt off and a genie popped out and granted me one wish!"

"Oh, I see!", said the bartender, actually a little confused,"so you wished for a twelve inch pianist?"

"Yeah. Something like that...", says the drunk.
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Joke by Nunyuz, in Sex and shit > Penis - Tagged size , penis , drunk , genie , sex , monkeys , smut , porn , catholicism  - Current Score: 21 - Added: 1 year ago

My wife is very big in fashion.
Fucking size 20.
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Joke by justincider, in Illness and mortality > Fat - Tagged wife , fashion , very big , size  - Current Score: 8 - Added: 1 month, 15 days ago

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