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| Paddy and Murphy need a drink! They pool their money, but only have 50 pence..Paddy takes all the cash into the butchers and buys a sausage.. They enter a bar and order 2 Guinness and drink them. When the barman asks for cash Paddy puts the sausage into his fly and Murphy sucks it!! The barman throws them out!! at the 10th pub Murphy said "I can`t do this much anymore, my knees are hurting, Paddy replies " your knees? I lost the sausage in the second pub!" |    |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Sex and shit > sausage - Tagged sausage , suck , skint , irish - Current Score: 67 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| I always look skint you know, when I walk down the street. The other day when I bought the Big Issue, this guy took it out of my hand and gave me a pound. | |
Joke by mamma mia, in Jokes with no home > Big Issue - Tagged skint , big issue , no money - Current Score: 43 - Added: 3 months, 14 days ago
| A bloke walks into his local and says "A pint of anything except Stella." The barman asks "What's wrong with Stella?" He complains "I had 15 pints last night and woke up fucking Skint!" The barman says "Well, i suppose 15 pints is gonna leave you a bit short." "Aye" says the man "But Skint is the name of my Jack Russel." | |
Joke by CUTTSY, in Sex and shit > Fuck - Tagged bloke , pub , barman , stella , skint , fucking - Current Score: 34 - Added: 9 months, 2 days ago
| 3 Irish fellas were sitting in the pub. They had all run out of money, but it was only 9pm. 'Watch this!' said Paddy as he walked to the bar. The barman asked what Paddy wanted to drink, to which the Irishman replied 'Ya feckin' queer!' The barman, who was a big bastard, immediately punched Paddy on the nose. 'What the feck was that for?' said Paddy as he got up from the floor. 'You called me a queer' said the barman. 'I didnt' said Paddy. 'I said 3 pints of beer.' 'Oh Christ' said the barman. 'Here's 3 pints on the house.' Paddy returns to his friends and they laugh at how clever Paddy has been. Presently, Feargal says 'Another pint fellas?' He gets up and walks to the bar. 'You feckin' queer' he says, and the barman hits HIM. Feargal picks himself up and explains that he had actually asked for '3 pints of beer', and again the barman apologises and hands over the drinks free of charge. After another half an hour, Mick says 'I guess its my turn?' and heads to the bar. 'Ya feckin' queer' he shouts at the barman. The barman duly punches Mick on the nose. Mick gets up and yells 'What were that for?' 'You called me a fucking queer!' said the barman. 'I didnt.' replies Mick, nursing his bloody nose. 'I asked for two Guinesses, a cider and a packet of pork scratchings' | |
Joke by discostu, in Religion and racism > Irish - Tagged pub , irish , guiness , drink , skint , stupid - Current Score: 23 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| I went to see a fortune teller. She said I will be skint and unhappy till I am fifty. I said, "What happens when I'm fifty?" She replied, "Oh, nothing. You'll be fucking used to it by then." | |
Joke by geemack, in Jokes with no home > Fortune Teller - Tagged skint , unhappy - Current Score: 11 - Added: 3 weeks ago
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