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| Essex girl in bed with her boyfriend says, "How dare you call me a slapper? "Get out of my bed right now, and you can take all your fucking mates with you too!" |    |
Joke by bobbydgg, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged essex girl , slapper - Current Score: 392 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| I'm sure my daughter is going to grow up to be a slapper. I took her to the dentists yesterday and he said, 'open wide.' She said, 'I can't - there's arms on the chair.' | |
Joke by winzar, in Sex and shit > Daughters - Tagged daughter , slapper - Current Score: 126 - Added: 3 weeks ago
| If beauty is skin deep then Karen Matthews must have been born inside out! | |
Joke by niggers out, in Celebrity and news events > Karen Matthews - Tagged matthews , karen , shannon , ugly , slapper - Current Score: 101 - Added: 7 months, 23 days ago
| A slut is a woman who sleeps with everyone. A bitch is a woman who sleeps with everyone but you. | |
Joke by the peter tobin fan club, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged slag , slut , whore , bitch , cunt , slapper , did i mention heather mills - Current Score: 86 - Added: 8 months, 9 days ago
| What does an Essex girl say after sex? "Thanks, lads." | |
Joke by mycockisbiggerthanyours, in Sex and shit > Essex Girls - Tagged sex , essex , essex girl , essex girls , slut , slapper , slag , bitch , whore , lads - Current Score: 47 - Added: 10 months, 7 days ago
| A bloke gets lucky and takes a bird from the local pub home with him, even though she has a reputation for being a bit of a slapper. During sex he has some problems because it seems that he dosen't seem to be touching the sides and she is looking very bored. He thinks this very strange as he has never had this problem before. Suddenly she pushes him of her and tuts "Has anybody ever told you that you have a tiny organ?" The bloke replies, "It may not be a large organ, but it's never had to play in a Cathedral before!" | |
Joke by BushTurkey, in Sex and shit > Young girls - Tagged big minge , penis , sex , slapper , pub - Current Score: 47 - Added: 1 year, 4 months ago
| Spice up your sex life by telling your wife to wear lots of lipstick and wash her mouth out with vodka. Then you can pretend you're shagging some old slapper you've just picked up in a nightclub. | |
Joke by staffer, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged nightclub , slapper , vodka , lipstick , spice , sex - Current Score: 46 - Added: 3 months, 15 days ago
| A man is driving down a deserted stretch of highway when he notices a sign out of the corner of his eye. It reads: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 10 MILES He thinks it was just a figment of his imagination and drives on without a second thought. Soon, he sees another sign which says SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION 5 MILES Suddenly, he begins to realize that these signs are for real. Then he drives past a third sign saying: SISTERS OF ST, FRANCIS HOUSE OF PROSTITUTION NEXT RIGHT His curiosity gets the best of him and he pulls into the drive. On the far side of the parking lot is a sombre stone building with a small sign next to the door reading: SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS He climbs the steps and rings the bell. The door is answered by a nun in a long black habit who asks, What may we do for you, my son He answers, I saw your signs along the highway, and was interested in possibly doing business. Very well, my son. Please follow me. He is led through many winding passages and is soon quite disoriented. The nun stops at a closed door, and tells the man, Please knock on this door. He does as he is told and this door is answered by another nun in a long habit, holding a tin cup. This nun instructs, Please place $50 in the cup, then go through the large wooden door at the end of this hallway. He gets $50 out of his wallet and places it in the second nuns cup. He trots eagerly down the hall and slips through the door, pulling it shut behind him. As the door locks behind him, he finds himself back in the parking lot, facing another small sign: GO IN PEACE YOU HAVE JUST BEEN SCREWED BY THE SISTERS OF ST. FRANCIS | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Prostitution - Tagged screwed , nuns , prostitution , whore , slapper - Current Score: 31 - Added: 9 months, 24 days ago
| One night we were talking about blowjobs. One of the lads was bragging that his girlfriend can deep-throat. "That's nothing," I said. "Every girl I've been with ever could go deep" He said, "Woah, you must have been with some real slags!" "Not at all!" I said, "I just have a two inch cock." | |
Joke by storyteller, in Sex and shit > Blow Job - Tagged blow job , blowjob , deep throat , slag , slut , whore , slapper , cock , small cock , small dick , suck - Current Score: 26 - Added: 6 hours ago
| It beats me why Paul McCartney married Heather Mills in the first place... With all his royalties, he could easily have afforded a whole woman. | |
Joke by Guest, in Celebrity and news events > Heather Mills - Tagged heather mills , gold-digger , slapper - Current Score: 21 - Added: 8 months, 14 days ago
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