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| Some mornings I wake up bitchy Other mornings I let her sleep. |    |
Joke by Hintonian, in Sex and shit > Sexist - Tagged bitchy , morning , sleep - Current Score: 510 - Added: 8 months ago
| I still occasionally have a wank over the ex - I have the keys to her flat and she's a heavy sleeper. | |
Joke by Frank Chickens, in Sex and shit > Wanking - Tagged wank , sleep , flat - Current Score: 260 - Added: 10 months ago
| I don't see the problem with premature ejaculation. I mean, sex AND an early night! | |
Joke by J-Man, in Sex and shit > Ejaculation - Tagged ejaculation , sex , sleep , gonads , frankie boyle - Current Score: 124 - Added: 3 months ago
| My Dad was a taxi driver and he died peacefully in his sleep... ...Unlike his passengers, who died screaming. | |
Joke by sick puppy, in Illness and mortality > Dead - Tagged death ride , taxi , sleep , passengers - Current Score: 112 - Added: 1 year, 3 months ago
| The best thing about being a hunchback is the ability to rock yourself to sleep at night. | |
Joke by stig2112, in Jokes with no home > Hunchback - Tagged hunch back , rock , sleep - Current Score: 67 - Added: 4 months, 15 days ago
| Woman: Would you get married again? Man: Definitely not! Woman: Why not -- don't you like being married? Man: Of course I do. Woman: Then why wouldn't you remarry? Man: Okay, I'd get married again. Woman: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face) Man: (audible groan) Woman: Would you sleep with her in our bed? Man: Where else would we sleep? Woman: Would you put away my pictures, and replace them with pictures of her? Man: That would seem like the proper thing to do. Woman: And would you let her use my golf clubs? Man: No... she's left-handed. | |
Joke by McLOVIN, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged man , woman , married , sleep , bed , pictures - Current Score: 59 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| I slept through the alarm this morning, good thing it was only a small fire. | |
Joke by MICK THE MAG, in Jokes with no home > Accident - Tagged alarm , fire , sleep - Current Score: 59 - Added: 2 months, 26 days ago
| Three men go on a skiing trip and book into a lodge. The lodge is overbooked so they discover that they all have to share a bed. The next morning, when they woke up, the fellow on the left side says "That was wierd. I had a dream that this beautiful woman was jacking me off last night!". The fellow on the right "You know what's wierd? I had the exact same dream!" The bloke in the middle suddenly looks worried. "What's wrong?" ask his pals. He replies, "Last night I dreamt I was skiing..." | |
Joke by Guest, in Sex and shit > Sex - Tagged jackoff , sleep , gay - Current Score: 54 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| I'd never heard but apparently you're supposed to warn women when you're about to cum. Before I found out, I came on this women and she was furious! She just kept shouting, "Oh for god's sake!" and "I was sleeping!", "Who are you? How did you get in my house?" Honest mistake. | |
Joke by joe_and_how, in Sex and shit > Cum - Tagged cum , women , sleep - Current Score: 48 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| My hamster died today.......silly bastard fell asleep at the wheel!! | |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > ? - Tagged hamster , died , sleep - Current Score: 42 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
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