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| A CIA agent is on a mission in Siberia, to spy on the government. Prior to his mission he received full training, he speaks perfect Russian with in the relevant dialect, and can withstand very low temperatures in order to be able to blend in. As a first step to phase himself in, he goes to the local pub, where all the heavyweight characters hang out, to make connections. He goes to the bar, and asks for a triple shot of Vodka. The barman looks at him suspiciously and says: - You are not from round here. The agent begs to differ. - But Comrade. I speak our beautiful Russian perfectly, why would you say that? - I just have a feeling. Sorry. I think you're dodgy. The agent downs the triple shot of vodka. - Give me another triple. See? I drink vodka like water. - No! Sorry. I don't buy this. - For fuck's sake! - the agent gets up from his seat, strips naked, goes outside and buries himself in the 3 foot snow. He comes back 10 minutes later, not showing any signs of being cold. - There. You happy now? - No! You are not who you say you are. The agent doesn't understand how could the barman have the slightest suspicion, and gets frustrated. - All right then, why would you be so sure, I'm not a true Siberian? - You know, we don't get many niggers round here. |    |
Joke by dirt_on_my_shirt, in Jokes with no home > America - Tagged siberia , cia , vodka , snow , nigger , black - Current Score: 137 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| Norman and his wife live up north. One winter morning, while listening to the radio, they hear the announcer say, "We are going to have 4-6 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car. A week later while they are eating breakfast, the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 6-8 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd numbered side of the street, so the snowplow can get through." Norman's wife goes out and moves her car again. The next week they are having breakfast again, when the radio announcer says "We are expecting 8-10 inches of snow today. You must park..........." , just then the electric power goes out. Norman's wife is very upset, and with a worried look on her face she says, "Honey, I don't know what to do. Which side of the street do I need to park on so the plow can get through?" With the love and understanding in his voice, like all men who are married to blondes exhibit, Norman says, "Why don't you just leave the car in the garage this time?" | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged snow , plough , wife , radio - Current Score: 99 - Added: 8 months, 25 days ago
| Saturday morning I got up early, put on my long johns, dressed quietly, made my lunch, grabbed the dog, slipped quietly into the garage to hook the boat up to the truck, and proceeded to back out into a torrential downpour. There was snow mixed with the rain and the wind was blowing 50 mph. I pulled back into the garage, turned on the radio, and discovered that the weather would be bad throughout the day. I went back into the house, quietly undressed, and slipped back into bed. There I cuddled up to my wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispered, "The weather out there is terrible." She sleepily replied, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit." | |
Joke by niggers out, in Sex and shit > 69 - Tagged wife , snow , sex , rain - Current Score: 84 - Added: 10 months, 14 days ago
| Due to cold snowy weather conditions expected soon, the Met office has issued a statement , a spokesman said "Make sure that when you drive , that you always carry a flask and a spade, this way you can have a hot drink, while the spade pushes your car!" | |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged weather , met office , spade , hot , drink , snow , car , flask , cold - Current Score: 64 - Added: 1 year, 2 months ago
| My girlfriend was screaming last night 'Oh My God! Thats about 10 inches, I'm so excited! I can't wait to dive on top if it'. I had to punch her. It's unacceptable for someone her age still to be excited by the fucking snow. | |
Joke by Gash TL, in Jokes with no home > Weather - Tagged snow , 10 inches , deep , weather , punch - Current Score: 48 - Added: 4 weeks ago
| This woman and her best friend go on holiday to the Caribbean and they meet a well hung black guy. After a week of a fantastic threesome sex, they ask his name and he said, "Snow." The two ladies piss themselves laughing and the black guy said, "what's the problem?" The first woman replies, "our husbands will not believe we had 10 inches of fucking snow in the Caribbean." | |
Joke by pornstar, in Religion and racism > Pakistani - Tagged snow , carribean , inch , black , hung - Current Score: 44 - Added: 5 months ago
| George Bush wakes up one December morning, opens the curtains and looks down on freshly settled snow on the white house lawn. To his horror and anger he sees someone has written in piss 'George Bush is a Cunt'. He calls for his chief of staff and orders that tests are done on the urine to see who the guilty person is. Later that day the chief of staff says "Mr President, sir, I have some bad news and some awful news. The bad news is the urine we tested is actually your father's - the awful news is it's your wife's handwriting." | |
Joke by Monkeyman, in Celebrity and news events > George Bush - Tagged bush , george bush , president , piss , snow - Current Score: 34 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas Not cause I like snow or anything, I'm just a racist. | |
Joke by sbyres, in Religion and racism > Racism - Tagged snow , christmas , racist - Current Score: 16 - Added: 2 weeks ago
| A man is walking past the church one day. He sees two alter boys with their penises stuck in the snow bank. The man asked them, "Why do you have your penises in the snow bank?" The boys quickly replied, "Father Smith always likes to have a couple of cold ones after work." | |
Joke by the phantom phucker, in Religion and racism > Priest - Tagged church , altar boys , penises , snow , father smith , cold , work - Current Score: 15 - Added: 1 year, 1 month ago
| What do you call a burberry snowball? A Chavalanche. | |
Joke by Bean, in Religion and racism > Chavs - Tagged chavs , burberry , funny , snow , dirty mosher - Current Score: 14 - Added: 4 weeks ago
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