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| So Oprah's at her doctor, he's telling her she needs to lose weight again, and then he says "okay, we're almost done, but before you put your clothes on, let's do one more thing: get on your hands and knees and have your head in the corner." She does it, perplexed. He then says, "okay, good, now stay on your hands and knees and crawl and stop at mid-wall. Okay, good, now crawl and put your head in the other corner. Good, thanks." So Oprah stands up and starts putting her clothes on and asks, "what was that all about?" And the doctor says sheepishly, "well, I was thinking about buying a black leather couch, and I wanted to see what it might look like." |    |
Joke by ht, in Celebrity and news events > Oprah Winfrey - Tagged oprah , fat , sofa - Current Score: 136 - Added: 1 year, 5 months ago
| Two Jewish blokes, Gerry and Sam, find a prostitute and, being Jewish, they don't want to spend much money, so they ask the hooker if she will have them both for a fiver. The hooker says no, but she will fuck them both for six quid, so they go back to her apartment. Gerry sits on the sofa while Sam goes first. The prostitute gets on top and starts riding away. After a minute the prostitute says, "Come on, faster, faster, I'll knock a couple of quid off." So Sam fucks her faster. A minute later she says, "come on, harder,harder, I'll knock another couple of quid off." So Sam fucks her harder. Then she says, "come on, harder and faster, I'll knock another couple off quid off." So he bangs her harder and faster. Just then Gerry jumps off the sofa and screams, "go on sam, go for the profit, go for the profit!" | |
Joke by pornstar, in Sex and shit > Adultery - Tagged jewish , prostitute , profit , sofa , apartment , money , hooker - Current Score: 70 - Added: 8 months, 18 days ago
| My wife caught me in our bed with another woman last night. She said, "I'm going to have to have a long think about where I lie in this marriage." I replied, "well the sofa's fine by me." | |
Joke by The Wolf, in Sex and shit > Wife - Tagged wife , sofa , bed - Current Score: 6 - Added: 4 months, 6 days ago
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